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Below are some comments:
Paragraph 1: Try to illustrate the current condition for protecting environment, like what the government has done.
Paragraph 2-4: Try to give some suggestions protecting the environment and explain with daily examples. For advanced writers, a rebuttal is essential to strengthen your passage.
Rebuttal: to state someone's point of view, then point out mistakes he/she has made and correct it.
Ways to protect the environment:
Use public transport
Recycle more
Reuse more
Use more renewable energy
...
Reasons behind are for you to discover. Therefore, I am not writing for you.
Try to use more data to support your views to enhance the persuasiveness.
Paragraph 5: To conclude your passage, you must write down your points of views briefly(just two or three sentences total). Then try to use some sentences to persuade people who do not protect the environment to do so.