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Yesterday , it was indeed a fine day with excellent weather then something happened.

At 10:30 am, I went to the Wan Chai Office to bring the breakfast to my father and then we had chatted for about half hour. Suddenly , the light went out and room was so dark. That was very appalling. I did not know what to do and was very scared. Fortunately , my father was calm enough to take out his mobile phone from the pocket and then took advantage of the light by the screen of mobile phone. Then we depended on the light to find way out. However, when we arrived at fire exits, we discovered that it had been blocked .We were extremely disappointed because the building was quite old that did not have any lifts. We had to return to the office and sat down to wait for the arrival of fireman to rescue us. While in the office, there were totally 6 people ,including my father and me. We all used our own mobile phone to contact our families and friends..

Fortunately, the firebrigade arrived within very short time,and all of us were rescued eventually. After that, the chief of the firebrigade told us that the blackout was due to the damage of electric wires. At that time, it was at noon so father and I went to eat lunch together.

我都想知點解係 was 唔係 is

Yesterday , it was indeed a fine day with 1)an excellent weather until the 2)accident happened.
At 10:30 am, I went to 3)Wan Chai Office to give 4)breakfast to my father and then we 5)chatted for about 30 minutes. Suddenly, the light went out and 6)the room was plunged into darkness. It was very appalling. I did not know how to do, I was very scared. Fortunately, my father was calm enough to take out his mobile phone from the pocket and then took advantage of the light 7)from the screen of 8)his mobile phone. We then depended on the light to find 9)the way out. However, when we arrived at 10)the fire exit, we discovered that 11)the door 12)has been locked .We were extremely disappointed because the building is 13)so old that 14)it doesn't have any lifts. We had to return to the office and sat down to await for the arrival of 15)firemen to rescue us. In the office, there were totally 6 people, including my father and me. We all took out our own mobile phone to make each other 16)visible and call for help.
Fortunately, the 17)firemen arrived within 10 minutes, and all of us were rescued eventually. After that, we asked the chief of the fireman 18)for the reason of this accident, he told us that the 19)accident was due to the damage of electric wires. At that time, it was 12:00pm and father and I went to eat lunch together.
1) add article 'an'
2) 'accident' is better
3) 'Wan Chai Office' is a specific name of place, no article is needed
4) 'breakfast' does not need an article
5) simple past is enough
6) add article 'the'
7) light is shown 'from' the screen
8) clarify that the mobile phone belongs to whom
9) add article 'the'
10) add article 'the', and you can never arrive two or more exits at the same time
11) clarify the term 'it'
12) change plural to singular
13) grammar structure:'...so...that...'
14) add subject 'it'
15)singular to plural
16) agreement mistake
17) singular to plural
18) add object
19) 'accident' is better

Yesterday , it was absolutely a fine day with excellent weather until this incident happened.

At 10:30 am, I went to Wan Chai's Office to give breakfast to my father, we chatted for about 30 minutes.
Suddenly , the light went out and the room was plunged into darkness.
It was very appalling, I didn't know how it was happened ,I was very scared.
Fortunately , my father was calm and calm enough to take out his mobile phone from his pocket.He fully took advantage of the light, that's on his mobile phone's screen. We were depending on the light to find the way out. However, when we arrived at the fire exit, we discovered that it was locked .We were extremely disappointed because the building is very old and did not have any lifts. We had to return to the office and sat down to await for the arrival of firemen to rescue us.
In the office, there were total of 6 people ,including my father and me.
We all took out our mobile phone to make each other visible and call for help.

Fortunately, the fireman arrived within 10 minutes ,all of us were rescued eventually. Afterwards, we asked the chief of the fireman, the reason of the building burn down, he told us that the incident occur due to the damage of the electrical wires.
At that time, it was 12:00pm.My father and I went to have some lunch together.