eng 作文3篇 求改!!!(20點)

1 hamster
My brother is keeping a hamster which has a 1)leg broken.He kept five 2)hamsters before but four of them were 3)dead already and the one with a broken 4)leg is the 5)last one.Although it's 6)leg 7)is broken,it is still very strong.It can 8)run even faster than before.
It is fat because it eats a lot for a day but it's size 9)doesn't affect it.It 10)moves as quick as 11)a monkey. 12)It can even climb up and down.
Mistakes corrected:
1), 4), 6): spelling mistake
2): singular to plural
3): use participle after 'were'
5): no need to write 'of them'
7): it is still broken
8): better to cancel 'as fast as before'
9), 10): present tense for truths
11): add article 'a'
12): capitalization of 'it'

2Coca Cola
Coca cola is a kind of carbonated 1)soft drinks.Many people like 2)drinking it because it is sweet.
Everyone 3)knows that drinking Coca Cola is bad for our health. 4)But do you know that Coca Cola is first sold in 5)drugstores and it contains alcohol?After the 6)passing of prohibition legislation,alcohol is removed in 7)Coca Cola and 8) becomes the Coca Cola which we are drinking now.
Although alcohol is removed 9),Coca Cola is still bad for us.It contain too much carbon dioxide and a bit of doping.Some people die because of drinking too much of it.So do not drink too much of it.
Mistakes corrected:
1): always use plural for 'soft drinks'
2): more common to say 'like + -ing'
3): 'everyone' is singular
4): start with another sentence
5): Coca Cola is sold in many drugstores
6): noun of 'pass' is 'passing'
7): spelling mistake
8): it is a truth
9): add a comma

2012-08-09 08:03:11 補充：
3Convection Oven
1)Convection Ovens is also known as 2)Lightwaves. It helps 3)protecting the environment because it won't produce smoke and radiation when it is cooking.It is also a multi-purpose oven.It can work as 4)a toaster,5)a rice cooker and even a sterilizer.

Eng essay3:-
Errors:-
(1)The,(2)a L cooker,(3)in,
---is260C and it(4)-----makes use of
-----then other oven such(5) cooking a-----such as
----oven need(6) to cook for----------needs
----it only need(7)25 min--------needs