請問這兩個英文介紹在文法上有冇問題?(請另寫上文法建議)

2012-07-08 7:14 am
ro opened its first flagship store in Hong Kong on Aug 4, 2011. The store is located at 47-49 Gage Street, in Central, Hong Kong, an area which has become well known for its small designer stores and chic restaurants.


The space, which was designed by the architectural firm 1:1 Limited, known for their unexpected avant guard approach, has been designed to reflect the clean, minimalist lines that are a fundamental part of the ro aesthetic.

回答 (3)

2012-07-17 2:56 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Just a suggestion:

The space was designed by a team of professionals (an architect or an artist) from the architectural firm 1:1 Limited, known for their unexpected avant-garde approach. The design reflects strongly the clean minimalist lines that are a fundamental part of the ro aesthetic.

Comment:
(1) Break the original sentence into two separate sentences.

(2) Firm (公司) 不能設計, 是專業人設計. You can put down the name of the architect or artist if you know his/her name.

(3) “was designed” 和 “has been designed” 在同一句子出現, 是 redundant (多餘的), design改了一個做verb,一個做 noun, 比較好點

(4) avant-garde ~ spelling

(5) clean 和 minimalist 中間, 沒有 comma

When we use two or more adjectives from the same class, we must separate them by commas. By far the most common use of multiple adjectives is in the category of opinion
e.g. a charming, handsome actor. (There is a comma.)

clean – quality adjective. It can be graded. (cleaner, cleanest)
minimalist – classifying adjective. It cannot be graded.

These two adjectives are of different class. We should not separate them by comma.
e.g. It a pretty minimalist home.

Another example:
The book is written in simple everyday language.


2012-07-17 07:29:08 補充:
SPACE:
create a space, fill a space, 我不知道 deign a space 這樣講可不可以? 每一專業有自己專門用語 (terminology) 我不是 architect, designer, 所以不清楚. Please replace “space” with an appropriate word if that is not the term used in that field.

2012-07-17 07:37:32 補充:
Interior design 有 space design 這個 term, guess it is OK
2012-07-08 6:14 pm
"avant guard" should be "avant-garde" which is taken from French words. (前衛派)

2012-07-08 10:33:12 補充:
It is the architectural firm that is known for their unexpected avant-garde approach. (not the space) The original sentence is okay; there is no need to change it.
2012-07-08 9:07 am
The two Eng introductions with errors and corrections:-
(1)The store,----(subj)
---which is located at 47-49 Gage St.,Central,HK---(Adv.cl.)
----an area well-known for its small design of stores and chic restaurants,----(Adv cl)
---has opened its first flagship store on Aug.4,2011 in HK---(v)+(Adv.cl.)

(2)The space,------(subj)
----known for their unexpected,surprising avant-garde approach,-----------(adv cl)
----designed by the architectural firm 1:1 Limited,---(adv.cl)
----has been reflecting the clean,minimal lines,-----(v)+(adv cl)
----that required to form a fundamental part of (--) aesthetics.---(adv. cl)
參考: google English translation website.


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