英文文法有錯嗎？

Dear Sir / Madam,

Application for the Post of XXX (Ref: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

With reference to your advertisement in "XXX" on "DATE", I am writing to apply for the post of "XXX".

Having graduated from "XXX School" majoring in Diploma in "XXX". I possess more than 2 years' experience in "XXX" and a strong sense of responsibility and independence. I am proficient in using Microsoft Word, Excel, Power Point and other softwares . I also familiarise myself with the way of directing marketing departments and projects as well as communicating and working with various vendors . (The original sentence does not show your sincerity but a statement about your (current/past) job in my opinion.) Enclosed please find the resume with my personal particulars.

I would be grateful if you arrange an interview so that I can explain my qualifications further. For more details,please feel free to contact me at (contact number). I look forward to your favourable reply.Thank you for your consideration and attention in advance .

Yours faithfully ,
"Name"

Dear Sir/Madam,

Application for the Post of XXX (Ref: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

With the reference on the advertisement in "XXX" at "DATE", I am writing regarding to the position of "XXX".

I had been graduated from "XXX School" majoring in "XXX" with a Diploma in "XXX".
I possess with more than 2 years of experience in "XXX".
I am proficient on the use of Microsoft Word, Excel, Power Point, etc.
My position also requires direct marketing, projects (managing), as well as communicating and working directly with various vendors.


I am very reliable and independent, regarding my work. (可能不同meaning)

I have enclosed/(attached) my following resume, which gives the details of my personal particulars.

It would be grateful, if interview can be arranged, so I can explain regarding my qualification(s) further with you.
My contact number is "XXX" and I can be reached (touched) at any time.
I am looking forward to hear from you.

Thank you for your consideration and your time.

Yours sincerely,
"Name"

Dear Sir/Madam,

Application for the Post of XXX (Ref: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

With the reference on the advertisement in "XXX" at "DATE", I am writing regarding to the position of "XXX".

I had been graduated from "XXX School" majoring in "XXX" with a Diploma in "XXX".
I possess with more than 2 years of experience in "XXX".
I am proficient on the use of Microsoft Word, Excel, Power Point, etc.
My position also requires direct marketing, projects (managing), as well as communicating and working directly with various vendors.


I am very reliable and independent, regarding my work. (可能不同meaning)

I have enclosed/(attached) my following resume, which gives the details of my personal particulars.

It would be grateful, if interview can be arranged, so I can explain regarding my qualification(s) further with you.
My contact number is "XXX" and I can be reached (touched) at any time.
I am looking forward to hear from you.

Thank you for your consideration and your time.

Yours sincerely,
"Name"

2012-06-18 16:31:20 補充：
I had graduated**** not had been