Please help me correct this paragraph, this is a cover letter.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I was excited to read about the job posting for Programmer, I am writing to apply for this position.
My recent job is an analyst programmer work at xxx IT Limited. My duties are system development, enhancement and bug fixing on systems like HR, access card and medical card services system.
And my previous job is a programmer, worked at zzz Holdings Limited for 1 year and 4 months and duties include POS, HR and MSSQL ad-hoc software design, development, bug fixing, testing and documentation.
In an internship with yyyyy department of Government, I handled a survey on the mobile phone coverage in country parks.
These experiences granted me, project planning and development skill, communication skills and strong analytical ability. In addition to my experience, I have strong communication and customer service skills.
I have experienced ASP.NET, VB.NET, C#, MSSQL T-SQL, VFP of FoxPro, Crystal Report, HTML, php, javascript, JAVA J2SE, J2EE, Visual Web Developer, SQL Server Management Studio.
My resume is enclosed for your reference, I look forward to have an opportunity for an interview in which I can further present my suitability for this position.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Please help me correct this paragraph, seek IT job use in hong kong, haha?
2012-05-07 11:20 am
回答 (5)
2012-05-07 11:27 am
✔ 最佳答案
Dear sir or madam,I was excited to read about the job posting for Programmer and am writing to apply for this position.
I currently work as an analyst programmer at xxx IT Limited. My duties include system development, enhancement and bug fixing on systems ranging from HR, access card and medical card services systems.
I have previously worked as a programmer at zzz Holdings Limited for 1 year and 4 months. There I was responsible for POS, HR and MSSQL ad-hoc software design, development, bug fixing, testing and documentation.
In an internship with yyyyy department of the Government, I handled a survey on the mobile phone coverage in country parks.
These experiences enabled me to develop, project planning and development skill, team-working skills and a strong analytical ability. In addition to my experience, I have strong communication and customer service skills.
I have experience with ASP.NET, VB.NET, C#, MSSQL T-SQL, VFP of FoxPro, Crystal Report, HTML, php, javascript, JAVA J2SE, J2EE, Visual Web Developer, SQL Server Management Studio.
My resume is enclosed for your reference and I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you for your time and consideration
Good luck!
2012-05-07 6:22 pm
There is no such thing as "VFP of FoxPro". Did you mean "VFP or FoxPro"? Instead of "VFP of FoxPro", just put down "Visual FoxPro".
2012-05-07 12:04 pm
I think this is not only a cover letter but your first written words in an application form, so it would be considered as your first impression...so you can make some changes.
line1. Dear Sir
line2. I am feeling excited, after read the job VACANCY for...
line3. I work recently as an....xxx IT Limited. My nature of jobs are...
line4. I previously worked as a programmer at zzz......
line9-10. use "good or very good skills" in the place of STRONG, or write as I HAVE STRONG COMMAND OVER....
line13. My resume is enclosed with the letter for reference....
last line. Thank you very much for your.....
I think it would sounds better.........wishes for interview call and selection.
line1. Dear Sir
line2. I am feeling excited, after read the job VACANCY for...
line3. I work recently as an....xxx IT Limited. My nature of jobs are...
line4. I previously worked as a programmer at zzz......
line9-10. use "good or very good skills" in the place of STRONG, or write as I HAVE STRONG COMMAND OVER....
line13. My resume is enclosed with the letter for reference....
last line. Thank you very much for your.....
I think it would sounds better.........wishes for interview call and selection.
參考: as I think.
2012-05-07 11:43 am
I am a Chinese native and just a english learner.So i can't give you any advise on how to write Professionall,you know,a letter of seeking a job,but I can point to you some grammatical mistakes you made.
change to them
1.My recent job is an analyst programmer workng at xxx IT Limited(Have you quitted this job,if not,i guess you should say"my present job)
2.My works are system development....（change duties to works might be better)
3.These experiences granted me skills of......（you might also change all the'strong' to some other words like'excellent' or something,strong normally will not be used to describe your skill of something,that's a litte chinglish)
4.I an looking forward to having.....
change to them
1.My recent job is an analyst programmer workng at xxx IT Limited(Have you quitted this job,if not,i guess you should say"my present job)
2.My works are system development....（change duties to works might be better)
3.These experiences granted me skills of......（you might also change all the'strong' to some other words like'excellent' or something,strong normally will not be used to describe your skill of something,that's a litte chinglish)
4.I an looking forward to having.....
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