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這是IELTS writing task 1的試題（描述圖表），請幫忙看看有那方面可以改進。

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chat shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

圖片參考：http://imgcld.yimg.com/8/n/HA08213506/o/701201220001313873422520.jpg


(The 2nd graph is a pie chart which shows the information:)
1. 52.2% Heating rooms, heating water
2. 17.5% Ovens, kettles, washing machines
3. 15.0% Lighting, TV, radio
4. 15.0% Vacuum cleaners, food mixers, electric tools

Givens are the graphs concerning the usage of electricity in England. The first one reveals how much electricity people use in England during typical days among winter and summer, while the second one shows what they are being used for in an average English home.

It is evident that the demand for electricity in winter twofolds that in summer. Increasing from approximately 35000units in 0hr to nearly 40000units in 3hr, the winter's electric usage amount then plunge to a low of 30000units in 8hr. This is followed by an exponential increase, with the consumption reaching a peak of 46000units in 22hr. The following 2hrs, have a rapid decline in this figure.

The summer's using of electric power, however, drops steadily from around 18000 to 13000 to 9hr, before rising sharply to 20000units in 14hr. The following 10hrs saw the figures fluctuated at somewhere between 20000 and 16000.

In the pie chart, it is obvious that the power used for heating rooms and water are far more than for the other areas listed. It includes 52.5% which triples the electricity used for Oven, kettles and washing machines (,17.5%). And the rest of them (, Lighting, TV, radio and Vacuum cleaners, food mixers, electric tools) have moderate level of power consuming at 15%.

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