Ok, I am 15 years old, a freshmen in high school. I am on the speech and debate team, and have loads of extra curricular activities. However, my parents are constintly yelling at me and calling me immature. Would you say I am immature?
-I play tenis, and do speech and debate team
-I have friends who come over, and they all get fantastic grades and don't do drugs
-I don't do drugs and never drink or party
-I get fantastic grades, never lower then a B (and right now, all A's)
-I babysit twice a week (I am too young to get another job) and make a pretty good income for a 15 year old. (Around 70 dollars a week)
-I do all my homework, and respect adults.
My dad thinks that I am super immature. He constantly mocks me about it, and tells me there is no way in hell I am going to get my permit at 15 and a half, because I am too immature to drive.
When I tell him I am saving up for things, like an Ipad, he says that I can't get it even if I pay for it all myself, and refuses to let me know the Wifi passwords so that I would not be able to access the internet on it without his permission.
He also tells me that if anyone in this family will be getting an iphone, it will be my sister (who is 10) because she shows way more maturity then I do. (Maybe because she is a dancer and is so "committed" to dance, so that makes him proud, where as I have tried to show commitment but he has made me quit the things that I try to be committed to. I was playing tenis earlier this year, but he made me quit because he did not think I was committed to it.)
I am wondering what could make him feel I am immature. Because I know many immature kids my age. Some of them are immature because they do drugs and party non stop. Others are immature because they watch starwars all the time and play pokemon. I would not consider myself either of the two. Not at all.
My flaws would be:
- My sisters and I sometimes fight, but I mean, we are siblings, and its equally all our faults, all siblings fight.
- I get into arguments about things, like the Ipad, and my parents don't let me get a word in "this is the last we will speek of it", they say. But I bring it up again. Only because I feel that I am responsible and mature enough to have a discusion civilly with them.
Please help me to figure out what I am doing wrong, and how I can get them to not treat me like a 12 year old.
Thanks :)
My parents say I'm immature?
2012-01-15 7:27 am
回答 (15)
2012-01-15 7:59 am
✔ 最佳答案
Hey kiddo. Here is some adult advice. ;) Hope this helps. First, i would like to say, very well done in school. It is excellent that you have a job, and have Honor Roll grades. Keep up the good work!
Now, about the parents. A very "mature" thing to do would be to sit down with your parents, both of them, when they have your undivided attention, and ask them why they think you are immature. Your job would be then to listen to what they have to say, and really take in their perspective. No interupting, or arguing. You may learn something. They have lived twice as long as you have.
Now, I can see one immaturity here. I will tell you, because I didn't learn this until College. Your downfall is that you keep comparing yourself to others. You keep saying, "well I am NOT this, and I am NOT that." When I was younger, I was so mad that my mom had a curfew on me. I was in my first year of Community College, had straight As, had a job, and did my part around the house. I liked to hang out with my Church friends late at night, eating at In and Out and having alcohol free get togethers. Nothing crazy there right? But I still had a curfew, and it seemed totally unfair. I would complain and tell her, "well at least I am not doing drugs!" and yada ya. BUT, I still lived in HER HOUSE. I may have been an adult, I wasn't 15,but I still needed to follow HER rules. She gave me food and a roof over my head, so I obeyed what she had to say. Now THAT, took alot of maturity. You can respect every adult in the world, but if you don't respect your parents, it means nothing. And guess what? A few weeks later, she gave me two extra hours on my curfew time. So, drop the ipad thing for a while, and prove to your parents that you seriously are mature. the best way to do that is to listen to them, nod your head, and carry on.
I hoped this helped. Remember kid, respect your parents. Also, sometimes parents can be more harsh on the older sibling. Don't use that against the, it's just a common fact of nature. My parents were much harder on my older sister than me.
You will be in my prayers. Good luck!
2012-01-15 7:38 am
You are doing all that you can to become a non immature person, its an age thing and you wont understand. There is not a 15 year old that is not immature. Guess what we keep learning and changing our enture lives. When your 25 you will still be younger than your parents and not have experienced in life what they have so you will still be their little girl To be less immature, stop letting it bother you and carry on with your life. You are one kid to be really proud of, and they are, with all the outside curriculum that you are interested in. Im impressed! But to me, you still are immature, thats just how life is. Its not a bad thing ok~
You no matter what are not thier equal so when your talking about, can I have this, can I do that, guess what its up to them and they do get the last word. If you let their answer be the end of the conversation, they will definatly seeing you maturing.
You no matter what are not thier equal so when your talking about, can I have this, can I do that, guess what its up to them and they do get the last word. If you let their answer be the end of the conversation, they will definatly seeing you maturing.
2012-01-15 7:37 am
A lot of times old parents (like me) want to keep our children 'immature' or sheltered as our way of keeping them safe from the world. "I don't trust the world, so you're not getting a licence so you can explore it on your own" isn't that rare. Your parents sound a bit harsh, though. Have you ever asked them what they think you need improvement on? It's not whether you NEED any improvement, but we like to think we know what's best for you and that we have all the answers (we don't). I'm puzzled by what you mean by 'my dad constantly mocks me'. You don't mention your mom, why not ask her sometime... when dad's not around. And, sadly, parents DO sometimes have favorites. It sounds like you're a level headed, independent young lady. And NO dad wants to see his little girl grow up.
2012-01-15 7:33 am
Unless your parents are somehow jealous and just being douche holes perhaps your being immature but don't know it. But having a bunch of achievments and doing all these things dont make one mature they make one responsible if anything
2012-01-15 7:32 am
Hm it does sound like they are being a bit unfair. How about trying to confront them about it? I think you're doing excellent things for being so young by the way.
2016-12-12 9:57 am
My mom and her boyfriend say the same thing about me even though I work my butt off trying to be the mature child they want. (In that case my mom). I tell them that I am working on it and then they blow me off for saying that I will work on it. I get teased a lot. I tell them that I am getting tired of it and that they need to put the teasing at a low. I get angry so much because they tease me constantly and they get mad at me just because I ask them to stop, please. I don't even tease them about things but I guess that's what happens when you are 14 years old and the oldest sister. I asked my mom and her boyfriend if I could start learning how to drive but they tell me no because I am not mature enough even though I believe I am since I watch my 2 younger sisters every day of the week and feed them dinner. I plan on getting a job at the age of 16 so that I can show I am even more mature since in Oregon that is a rare thing for Teens my age to get a job. I am working my butt off in school too and that's not mature enough either according to them. I am trying to work on becoming a veterinarian but that's not even mature enough to start learning how to drive. So I am depressed a lot and that is not a good thing I am scared to tell my mom how I feel about what she is doing and that it's not fair since I work my butt off every day. Every time I tell her something that I need to get off my chest she just chews my head off. So your not the only one. I wish you luck and hope that everything works out for you!
2016-09-27 4:28 pm
This arguing over inconsequential issues is side of being married, it not anything to do with adulthood. Most young adults have an exaggerated feel in their possess adulthood. They recognise so little approximately lifestyles that they cannot even respect how little they recognise! When they rather develop up, then they comprehend you cannot positioned an ancient head on younger shoulders.
2012-01-15 7:36 am
I am also a freshmen, my parents did something similar when I as in 7th grade, but seemed allot less abusive then your situation. Its sounds as if your parents are controlling and for some reason have an impression that your immature. Although I don't know you, you don't sound immature. Unfortunately there is now way to instantly make your parents see your way. However, if I were in your shoes now, the best thing to do is talk to them. You said that they are hard to talk to and treat you as if your are 12, my parents used to do that, they would disregard what I would say, making it hard to talk to them. The best thing would to tell them what you've told us just now. If you have already tried, try again and make it as clear as possible to them what your having trouble with. If all else fails, you should try talking to your school counselor about it (I hate this option) but they are there for a reason. Best of luck.
參考: Personal Experiences
2012-01-15 7:35 am
That’s really weird that your dad seems to think you’re immature. Maybe he’s teasing you? Anyway, don’t argue with him, just prove him wrong!
Don’t get an iPad… get a laptop… with Windows. It is so much cheaper. iPads are expensive! (Anything from Mac is too expensive, IMHO)
If you have a friend who is into computers you could get them to pimp out your new machine, or you could get the following:
Microsoft Security Essentials (free antivirus. free is good. all my suggestions are free BTW :)
Firefox (web browser, instead of Internet Explorer)
>addons for Firefox:
>>AdBlock Plus (filters: EasyList+EasyPrivacy, Malware Domains)
>>Download Statusbar
>>Video DownloadHelper (saves videos from YouTube etc.)
>>Tab Mix Plus (lots of customizable options)
Defraggler (disk defragmenter)
InfraRecorder (CD/DVD writing software)
GIMP (kind of like PhotoShop, but free)
VLC VideoLAN Player (instead of Windows Media Player)
SMPlayer (ditto)
WinAmp
SpyBot S-D (run it, update it, and hit the “Immunize” button… that’s about it)
Good luck :)
Don’t get an iPad… get a laptop… with Windows. It is so much cheaper. iPads are expensive! (Anything from Mac is too expensive, IMHO)
If you have a friend who is into computers you could get them to pimp out your new machine, or you could get the following:
Microsoft Security Essentials (free antivirus. free is good. all my suggestions are free BTW :)
Firefox (web browser, instead of Internet Explorer)
>addons for Firefox:
>>AdBlock Plus (filters: EasyList+EasyPrivacy, Malware Domains)
>>Download Statusbar
>>Video DownloadHelper (saves videos from YouTube etc.)
>>Tab Mix Plus (lots of customizable options)
Defraggler (disk defragmenter)
InfraRecorder (CD/DVD writing software)
GIMP (kind of like PhotoShop, but free)
VLC VideoLAN Player (instead of Windows Media Player)
SMPlayer (ditto)
WinAmp
SpyBot S-D (run it, update it, and hit the “Immunize” button… that’s about it)
Good luck :)
2012-01-15 7:35 am
Yes, you're immature. Your father is somewhat right.
1) Getting a permit means you want to drive. The next thing is you will ask your father for a car (or even borrow his.) Peer pressure may then lead you to drunk driving etc. Your father thinks that you're not old enough to handle all those crazy stuff that we adults do. He is worry about your safety.
Ok, your father is wrong about getting the iphone for the 10 years old. The 10 years old is getting spoiled over.
Parents are always like that. They just want their kids to do the things that they want, and they will get whatever for you.
1) Getting a permit means you want to drive. The next thing is you will ask your father for a car (or even borrow his.) Peer pressure may then lead you to drunk driving etc. Your father thinks that you're not old enough to handle all those crazy stuff that we adults do. He is worry about your safety.
Ok, your father is wrong about getting the iphone for the 10 years old. The 10 years old is getting spoiled over.
Parents are always like that. They just want their kids to do the things that they want, and they will get whatever for you.
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