有冇英文叻的朋友幫我改一下呢篇英文作文既文法

我英文不太好但都發現幾個問題.1基本上好多都無用過去式,2同埋句子多過兩個動詞,3句子太過累聚,可以簡單些..(英文講求順, 簡單句子反而更好.)
4好以太過口語化.
5當講緊A時,又講下C,再講翻A.好怪. Many people’s holidays were visited in Taiwan, Japan and other countries,(many people will visit Tai wan, Japan and so on during the holidays.) but I have to follow my father to return home which was in HuiDon. (but I have to go to mainland, HuiDon, with my father.)That place was a small village where I borned in.(The place is a small village where I borned). My family tradition was that every 18-year-old man needs to return home to worship ancestors and actually I wasthat silly guy.( My family tradition is that every 18-year-old males need to return their homes to worship ancestors and I think it is silly to do it.)
)

I saw the bungalows were quite old and vacant.(At my village, I saw a lot of old and empty bungalows) In that place I can easy to see a lot of cow dungs on the garden. (Also, it was easy to see lots of cow dungs on the ground.) It was really very dirty. (it was dirty and disguesting)The whole village only had two familys werestill living.(Now, there are only two familys who are still living in my village. )

When I opened the door of my old home, I can see the dust flied in the air.( I could see many dust s in the air) That was very terrible.(It was very terrible) We must turn on the lights before we can see the display in a dark house. (I had to turn on the lights when we wnet to this dark house. ) After turned on the lights, we can find only a few old wooden chairsand not any others.( After turning(不代表現在式!) on the lights, we could only find/see a few old wooden chairs )



2011-12-12 16:31:06 補充：
沒法貼上餘下的內容

2011-12-12 16:36:05 補充：
因有字數限制

2011-12-12 16:36:36 補充：
但已把餘下的寄信給你.

2011-12-12 16:38:07 補充：
The place is a small village where I borned犯上很大錯誤

2011-12-12 16:39:13 補充：
應該係被動式

2011-12-12 16:41:37 補充：
was

Your Chinglish is long and complex: early settle of words,patterns, passive voice ,past tense be refined,corrected.
(1)Many people's holiday visit were to Taiwan,Japan or other countries,but I had to go with my father to mainland Hui Don,being our ancestral home.It was a small village where I was born..Being 18 yrs old and one of this man by tradition,I needed to return home to worship.
(2)The village bungalow was quite old and vacant with only two families.A lot of cow dungs in the garden made the surroundings really dirty.
(3)The terrible house was filled with dust and with a few wooden chairs as we turned on the light.
(4)We walked back along the rural road without street lights after our worship service,Suddenly I became so frightened that I could not think clearly whether the dead bitten my neck panicking into Chinese horror movies.Suddenly my mother shouted at the grassland on seeing the fireflies which looked like LED light dancing and flipping
(5)When I took a closer look,I heard the sound"shit" under my feet.It was full of solid waste of cow dung.Having only one pair of shoes,I had to clean them disgustingly.
(6)Having arrived home,I had to sleep to the chair due to no water to bathe..And wished the night would pass away quickly.

Many people’s holiday’s visits were to Taiwan, Japan or other countries, but I had to go with my father.to HuiDon, which is our ancestral home. It was a small village where I was born. My family’s tradition was that every 18-year-old man needed to return home to worship our ancestors and I became one of this “man” this year.
The village bungalow was quite old and being vacant. The whole village only had two families living there at present. And I saw a lot of cow dungs in the garden which made that surroundings really dirty.
When I opened the door of my old home, the whole place was filled with dust. We must turn on the lights to see inside the dark house. Inside the house, there were only a few old wooden chairs and nothing else. It was terrible inside also.
After the worship service, when we wakled back on the rural area road without streetlight and could only see by the dim moonlight, I became panicking. It was because in Chinese horror movies, the dead bites your neck from behind. Suddenly, my mon pointed at the grass field and shouted. I was startled by her action. Afterward, I realized that she was pointing at the fireflies, which I saw this for the first time in my life.They were like LED light dancing at night and they are really beautiful. When I took a step forward to move closer to them, I heard the sound “shi” under my feet. My feet was full of cow dung. Unfortunately, I only had one pair of shoes without replacement. I had to clean them with tissue paper and very disgusting.After arrived home, I needed to go to sleep on the chair because there was no water to bathe and I wished the night would pass quickly.