可不可以告訴我一個英文的笑話??急!!!

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him.



耶穌死後上了天堂. 第一件事情就是要找尋他的父親, 因為他從來沒見過他的父親所以很好奇他父親長什麼樣子, 到底他長的像父親或母親. 他到處尋找.



He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.

他問了聖 彼得: 我父親在哪? 聖 彼得答: 他不知道



He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.

他問了報喜天使-加百利: 我父親在哪? 加百利達也不知道.



He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

他問了施洗者-約翰: 我父親在哪? 可是約翰也不知道. 所以耶穌他繼續在天堂徘徊, 很不耐煩的找尋.



Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

突然, 耶穌在霧裏看見一位老人走向他這邊. 這男人很老了, 有白色頭髮, 有點駝背. 耶穌對老人喊: 請停步, 你是誰?



"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son."

老人答: 喔~ 請幫我, 我是個老人我在找我的兒子.



Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

耶穌很好奇的. 這會是他的父親嗎? 對老人說: 請告訴我關於你的兒子.



"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

老人答: 喔~ 當你看到他的時候你就會知道. 手裡有洞因為曾被鐵釘定住, 他曾被定在十字架上, 你知道的...



"Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus.

耶穌: 父親!



"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.

老人答: 小木偶!!!

這是我聽過的最搞笑的英文笑話。


A: Where's your mum from?
B: Alaska
A: It's OK, I'll ask her myself.


這個笑話的笑點在於：
"Alaska" 跟 "I'll ask her" 發音超接近！

A: Where's your mum from? 你媽媽來自哪裡？
B: Alaska. 阿拉斯加
（可是A錯聽成B講 "I'll ask her"，“我去問它”）
結果A回答：沒關係，我自己去問她就好。


LOL

A Couple's Conversation
一對夫妻的對話 Wife: Honey, you think I'm pretty or ugly ?
妻子：親愛的，你覺得我是美還是醜？ Husband: Both!
丈夫：都是！ Wife: What the hell is wrong with U ? Seriously!
妻子：你是怎麼了？！認真點回答！ Husband: Cause you are pretty ugly ......
丈夫：因為你很醜......

p.s.
pretty, adv. 副詞
意思是：相當, 頗, 很, 非常
例句：He is still pretty sick. 他仍病得很重。


TEACHER : George, go to the map and find North America.
老師：喬治，到地圖那裡並找出北美在哪裡。
GEORGE : Here it is!
喬治：在這裡！
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
老師：沒錯！現在，各位同學，是誰發現了美國？
CLASS : George!
全班：喬治！

Post office: 「 Please add more stamps 」

郵局櫃檯：「請你再貼張郵票。」

Customer: 「Why? what happened? 」

顧客：「為什麼? 是怎麼啦？」

Post Office: 「 Your letter is over weight! 」

郵局櫃檯：「你的信超重了。」


Customer: 「Really? If I adding more stamps wouldn't it be more heavier? 」

顧客：「是嗎？再貼張郵票不是更超重嗎？」

Post Office: 「 ......! 」

郵局櫃檯：「.......！」