Can anyone point the mistakes that are found in this passage?

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Gordon

2011-10-31 1:07 am

I have written an introduction of myself and I want to know is there any mistakes in the following passage. Please forgive my poor English because I am a Hong Kong student. Thanks a lot!

My introduction:
Wing Gordon, borned after 1990s in Hong Kong, who is studying Information & Communication Technology at a secondary school.

He is a boy who is nothing special and just want to play basketball and listen to music usually. Interestingly, however, he had started to know what should he do when he was studying in Senior Secondary in order to love everything that is about Computers. What he said is "Nothing is impossible." and also "Just do it.". He tried his best to do everything about Computers such as writing programs, designing websites, setting different kinds of servers, etc. Therefore, he improved his Computers' skills a lot. He still want to know more about technology until now.

Now, what he wants is, doing some projects that are about Computers. Such as editing videos, editing photos, designing websites, writing programs, etc. He is interested of all of them.

更新1:

The title should be "Can anyone point the mistakes out that are found in this passage?"

更新2:

bluebellbkk, Oh yeah, thanks for pointing out this mistake!

回答 (3)

[匿名]

2011-10-31 1:15 am

✔ 最佳答案

Some parts that need fixing:

Wing Gordon, /born/ after the 1990's in Hong Kong, is studying....

He is an ordinary kid ("nothing special" is kind of an insult) who just want/s/ to play...

Computers is not capitalized, unless it is the first word of a sentence, or is the name of a class. Use "computer skills" not computers' (that's the plural possessive, not the plural)

Now what he wants is to do.... For example, he is interested in editing videos and photos, designing websites and writing programs.

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[匿名]

2011-10-31 1:17 am

Started to correct this but would take too long. Too many errors. Ask someone to help rewrite.
It does not make sense. Sorry

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[匿名]

2011-10-31 1:23 am

There were so many mistakes that I decided to re-write the whole thing:

My introduction:
Lemmington Percival was born in the 1990s in Bangkok to a Filipino lady and an bengali man. During his childhood he was often mocked for the dark colour of his skin. In thai culture dark skin signifies a lack of refinement and wealth - this is largely believed to be because the poorer folk up in Issan have to work out in the sun all day growing rice, and consequently get quite brown. Lemmington suffered from an acute sense of anomie for most of his young life, and hence turned inward to the world of digital machines, where he could be the one in control.

After watching a Nike advert one day, Lemmington decided to finally take his relationship with machines to the next level, and become a programmer. He became dedicated to the art of setting up botnets to DDoS websites which showed pictures of happy normal people having fun. Unfortunately, after one particularly long late-night session, he spilled diet pepsi all over his laptop, destroying it totally. After a despondent few days, he finally emerged into the harsh white sunlight. He wandered through parks and pedestrian byways, like a lost dog.

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