I've just become so numb, I've always felt as though my family don't give a **** about me I mean if anything they always used to hate me, shout at me, beat me and not give a crap. I can defend myself against any **** they say to me including "I wish you would just die" or "I will kill you" or "I will beat you senseless" or "I wish you were never born", the usual. Funny thing is I never did anything that bad as a child cos I never drank/smoke/bunked school. I've always felt singled out and absolutely hated them because even after all this happened they'd expect me to carry on like normal and talk to me like normal 5 mins later... they've never said sorry to me about the things they've done.
I was lucky to have a partner for 4 and a half years throughout the **** they put me through but the relationship was incredibly turbulent, I found that she was cheating on me, we tried to make it work and the relationship changed although we made it 'work' for a further year and a half... we got into quite a few heated arguments and they became the norm, we used to hurt each other, I used to self harm and I stopped eating but I covered my tracks well, nobody else noticed either of these things apart from the obvious weight loss. At this point in time we've just left talking to each other.
Since then I've grown up and I feel like I don't know who I am, I feel so detached and numb. My brother and sister have since screwed over my parents and hurt them a great deal, which I've never done but they're still favoured over me. My sister self harmed and showed my parents and told them she's thinking of killing herself and I'm just thinking what the hell? It's attention seeking. I have no sympathy, I know I've become this horrible person but I don't care. I just wanna know why and whether I've gone past the point of no return...
I'm close with my group of friends but they don't know any of this stuff, it's my 'dark' side which I don't indulge or share with them. I just like to have a laugh and enjoy the time I spend with them, I'm quite sarcastic too.
What do I even do? [Serious answers only please]
I feel so detached and numb, I don't care anymore about others... why? [More details]?
2011-08-26 11:01 pm
回答 (2)
2011-08-27 1:28 am
✔ 最佳答案
Your feelings are normal for what you've been through. Hundreds of textbooks have been written about the long-term effects of child abuse and you are right by the book; from broken relationships to the inability to trust, to violence and emotional numbness. And your sister feeling suicidal is also a classic symptom.It does just as much psychological harm to have to witness violent abuse to brothers, sisters or a parent as it does to be at the brunt of it.
Before you have much to offer another person, you need to get yourself into treatment and start recovering from the effects of the abuse or else you are doomed to repeat it. You will either become like the abuser or you will attract abusive people to you. And the cycle-of-abuse will move into yet another generation...onto your kids, and nephews and nieces.
2011-08-27 6:19 am
First you should just try and relax. Try reading a book, it gets your mind immersed in the lives of the characters and helps you forget about your own life for a little.
Find some hobbies that might interest you to get your mind in the right place, its up to you if you want to change, and once you get to that point, is when things will start coming together.
You should keep you head to the future, there's plenty of good things to come. Don’t worry about the useless stressors of life, there are more positive things to think about.
Remember, you have a future, and there are good things to come if you just allow them too, keep going and make the best of your life, live it the way you always envisioned it to be. Treat yourself to things, to whatever you enjoy doing and makes you happy.
Just find things that make you happy and stick with them, as long as they are positive things. (:
Find some hobbies that might interest you to get your mind in the right place, its up to you if you want to change, and once you get to that point, is when things will start coming together.
You should keep you head to the future, there's plenty of good things to come. Don’t worry about the useless stressors of life, there are more positive things to think about.
Remember, you have a future, and there are good things to come if you just allow them too, keep going and make the best of your life, live it the way you always envisioned it to be. Treat yourself to things, to whatever you enjoy doing and makes you happy.
Just find things that make you happy and stick with them, as long as they are positive things. (:
參考: Do you need someone to talk to? Or advice or a friend?
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We can talk about weather to whatever life throws at us. ^^
Just knowing someone is there is a comforting feeling, believe me, I know.
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收錄日期: 2021-04-11 18:46:43
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