I'm in a bad situation here...help...?
2011-07-21 4:24 am
Ok so i love this girl, she is my best girl friend, we aren't a couple at the moment. And now i've found out she loves me. I've been trying to back off, but still be friends simply because she makes me happy. But the problem is i'm going to serve in the army (frontlines) at the end of this year and i don't want to put her in that sort of situation, loving me and being with me, then waiting for me to maybe get shot, hurt, or come home fine. I don't want to put her in that situation, i love her too much for that. What can i do to make her not love me, without me explicitely telling her so?
回答 (28)
2011-07-21 4:45 am
✔ 最佳答案
Nathan,You're already in that situation. You are both in love with each other, backing off now may cause you to lose something very special. Have an honest conversation with her about your concerns. She can make up her own mind whether or not she wants to continue on. Are you afraid she will reject you, so you want to prevent that pain? That's the path of love you must travel to win the love you really want. It's how the two of you weather the storms life brings you that creates the best relationships.
Don't play games with her love, that would make you a loser twice over -first because you rejected a love you could have nurtured, and second because you decided to destroy that love through sneaky strategy and dishonesty. Use the direct approach and strengthen your integrity, something a soldier should have the most of.
參考: At nearly 60, I have seen many relationships. The longest lasting relationships all had enough respect for each other to discuss issues directly. The relationships that disintegrated quickly rarely discussed anything with each other. You choose.
2011-07-21 11:26 am
Tell her how much u care about her and tell her ur reason 4 not wanting 2 date
2011-07-21 3:52 pm
dude ur actually in the same position im in! and truly i dont have an answer for my situation either.
2011-07-21 12:40 pm
Dear, Nathan.
There is not much you can do about loving her. I can understand that you don't want to hurt her, however, if something were to happen to you in the military, and she found out that you loved her and she liked you, it may hurt her even more for you not to tell her. My advice to you bro, is tell her how you feel and she what she wants. If she wants to be in a relationship, then I think you should take that step. If she doesn't you can still be great friends and send friendly letters back and fourth. And if you really love her, girls always know btw. if you show it when you are around her. Give her long hugs and tell her she is beautiful, and nice things, but not things just about her body. Like about her personality and her eyes and smile, then she knows you are looking at her face.
Best of luck Bro. Chad D.
There is not much you can do about loving her. I can understand that you don't want to hurt her, however, if something were to happen to you in the military, and she found out that you loved her and she liked you, it may hurt her even more for you not to tell her. My advice to you bro, is tell her how you feel and she what she wants. If she wants to be in a relationship, then I think you should take that step. If she doesn't you can still be great friends and send friendly letters back and fourth. And if you really love her, girls always know btw. if you show it when you are around her. Give her long hugs and tell her she is beautiful, and nice things, but not things just about her body. Like about her personality and her eyes and smile, then she knows you are looking at her face.
Best of luck Bro. Chad D.
2011-07-21 11:37 am
Tell her what you feel bro.
Prayers for you and service.
Prayers for you and service.
2011-07-21 11:34 am
you should just be honest with her. she's your bestfriend and you love her right? don't try to come up with an excuse, don't you think she deserves better than that. if you are completely honest with her and tell her ALL the facts then she can decide what to do. you should at least give her a chance to voice her opinion on the subject. allot of military people have significant others they leave behind and i'm sure they dislike that too but it's part of the job. they make their relationships work and i'm sure you can as well:) but you've got to tell her how you really feel! good luck!:)
2011-07-21 11:30 am
first of all thank you for your service. and tell her that u wanna wait till u get back and that ur just scared right now......... thanks again for your service.
2011-07-21 11:29 am
Tell her exactly what you said on here! She will respect your decision because you handled the situation the right way.
2011-07-21 11:29 am
Haha, I can't believe you are in the exact same position as a guy I knew was.
TELL HER if you actually love her. Otherwise you'll just keep thinking about what would or could have happened. It will distract you and that is something you don't want on the front lines.
Your a nice guy for that thought though but believe me, tell her all this. But also a 'If your still willing to try'.
TELL HER if you actually love her. Otherwise you'll just keep thinking about what would or could have happened. It will distract you and that is something you don't want on the front lines.
Your a nice guy for that thought though but believe me, tell her all this. But also a 'If your still willing to try'.
2011-07-21 11:26 am
If she loves you there's nothing u can do to stop her from that. You kno what... tell her excatly what you just wrote. Sounds great to me
2011-07-22 7:29 am
Love is stronger than anything. I think you should tell her how you feel, along with your military reasons, and see what she would like to do about it to.
I beileve in you.
Kisses,
~me~
I beileve in you.
Kisses,
~me~
參考: Go for it :)
2011-07-21 4:01 pm
if she loves you there isn't anything you can do to change her mind. i think its really sweet that you don't want to put her through the waiting and the not knowing f you're hurt or not-perhaps waiting until you get back is best but then again you still have six months before you can leave and anything can happen!
2011-07-21 3:56 pm
Is Army Job is a place prom where you will never ever return?
If Yes, No Need To Worry She will forget you as soon as she will indulge with someone else after some time.
if not then keep your love lasting,marry her,make her proud wife because of you.Many people stay abroad and Stay in touch and love their partner.
And if you are sexually insecure than you must leave her Because love and marriage don't last without faith.and you will always suffer with mental stress.
My opinion-
Be confident,love her and get loved no matter where you live,make money and come back to live together in a way you want.it will take only your patience
If Yes, No Need To Worry She will forget you as soon as she will indulge with someone else after some time.
if not then keep your love lasting,marry her,make her proud wife because of you.Many people stay abroad and Stay in touch and love their partner.
And if you are sexually insecure than you must leave her Because love and marriage don't last without faith.and you will always suffer with mental stress.
My opinion-
Be confident,love her and get loved no matter where you live,make money and come back to live together in a way you want.it will take only your patience
2011-07-21 3:54 pm
tell her how you feel and discuss your feelings with her and see where it goes from there
2011-07-21 3:52 pm
tell her that u love her, thats why u cant be with her, u love her to much to put in that. and walk away???
2011-07-21 3:37 pm
You cant make her not love you. My suggestion? if you TRULY love this girl, do not go into the army, stay with her. The best gift God can give you in this world is that the person you love, loves you back
2011-07-21 3:35 pm
Well either way you look at it, she Is going to feel that way regardless of what you do or say. You can't make someone stop loving you. And if u truly care about her like u say, then you wouldn't try. It would only hurt her more. But I say u talk to her about the whole thing and let her know why u have been pushing her away. And if she doesn't care and WANTS to wait for you and wants to put up with the worrying then I say, u should both just date? I mean u obviously both love eachother and whether u date her or not, she will still feel the hurt and pain and worry when u leave.. so why not just be together?
2011-07-21 3:27 pm
You need to be honest with her, and hope that in the end stuff will come together.
2011-07-21 3:24 pm
If she loves you she loves you. Just be with her! I know you don't want her to be put into a situation like that but if she loves you she probably won't give up.
2011-07-21 3:16 pm
tell her that you dont want to hurt her by being away from her so long. Just tell her what your really feel inside your heart.
thanks for your service, stay safe.
thanks for your service, stay safe.
2011-07-21 3:15 pm
I think no matter what you do she is still going to love you, and even if you aren't dating, she'll still be upset if you get hurt while you're away. If you love her, tell her so. Explain how you feel to her and I'm sure she will understand.
2011-07-21 3:14 pm
tell her you love her, and tell her your situation
2011-07-21 12:31 pm
Although you said "without me explicitly telling her so," that is actually the best thing to do. You don't want to leave her thinking that you didn't care for her the way she did about you. That would be even more painful to do, in the other hand... if you tell her, both of you guys will have a reason to wait and see what happens when you come home. Good luck!
參考: me
2011-07-21 12:30 pm
First off, I'd like to thank you for serving for our great nation. You're a hero.(: And as for your friend, simply explain to her everything you just told us. If she is really a true friend, she will understand and not stress you. You're putting your life on the line for her & millions of others' safety, and I think that in itself should be a good enough explanation. Make sure you keep in touch with her, and let her know that you will be there for her when you get home. Good luck; my thought & prayers are with you. <3
參考: My heart.
2011-07-21 11:41 am
Sounds like Dear John without the friend part.
2011-07-21 11:34 am
Nobody can't predict what is going to happen to any of us. I could be sitting in this chair today and tomorrow I may not. As they say, nobody die the day before and we can't predict it. Maybe loving her give you strength. My nephew went ti Iraq and he left his family in Germany and with grace of God he came back. Any of us could be standing in the street and get shot. So don't be afraid, I'm pretty sure she understands the situation. I'm praying for you while I'm writing this and I know you will come back. GOD BLESS HONEY AND HE WILL BE WITH YOU EVERY MINUTES.
2011-07-21 3:45 pm
how about have sex with her then dump her by telling her that i only use you for my sexual desire. she will really hate you and leave you for sure.
參考: that is what my ex boyfriend did to me!
2011-07-21 11:32 am
Don't kill too many innocent, middle eastern children while out there. I heard thats what American soldiers like to do.
@Glorie: God bless honey? Honey? You like honey that much?
@Glorie: God bless honey? Honey? You like honey that much?
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