my boyfriend self harms?

2011-07-17 11:33 am
i know he used to do it, because of problems in his past, but he's started again and i don't know what to do? he says he can't stop and it's the only thing that makes him feel better- any suggestions for different, safe things he could do instead? he says he knows what he's doing and he'll be careful, and he doesn't want it to affect me as well, but i love him to bits and i'm so worried he'll badly hurt himself:/ what can i do??

回答 (6)

2011-07-17 12:02 pm
✔ 最佳答案
People cut because they can't forgive themselves and feel that cutting will help. He's holding on to something most likely recent that is causing him shame or guilt. These are the feelings generaly associated with cutting. The problem is the cutter thinks it's shame or guilt when it's actually anger. The emotions are easily confused and generally stem from some type of abuse, either verbal or sexual. Has he been around people he was around when he used to cut recently? Has he watched someone go through what he went through that caused him to cut the first time?
He needs to understand you love him no matter what. If he screwed up, you still love him. If someone else did something, you know it's not his fault. He needs to know you are his strength and he can lean on you for unconditional and unwavering support. Then communication is key. He needs to share what is going on. He may feel confused. He needs a way to sort through everything. If you can help then do it. If not you need to be the one to find him help. Don't let him hold on to emotions that are most likely someone elses. What I mean is if he was abused somehow he should feel angry and the abuser should feel shame and guilt. The problem is normally it ends up the other way! It suck but it's true!

Find him help one way or another. He's asking you to by way of cutting!
2016-10-01 7:08 pm
I unquestionably have in no way self harmed by slicing yet have been by a patch of self-destruction so could have some theory what you're dealing with. I heard that the clarification lots of folk self-harm is as a results of the fact the hormones in charge for melancholy are relieved by soreness (including slicing). i think of that he could be laid low with melancholy brought about by ability of perchance a confusing situation he won't be able to/ does not understand the thank you to handle. something is inflicting him to try this and it is obviously eating him up. via fact of your historic past with self-harming i think of that it must be too a lot so which you could fullyyt handle and as a replace perchance you could attend joint counselling? they could prefer you to do it seperately regardless of the undeniable fact that as you have individual themes to handle. yet dealing with counselling collectively could truly improve you the two and additionally motivate him to look for help for his subject. as quickly as I went by a coarse patch i grew to become to drugs and different self-unfavourable strategies, my boyfriend could no longer help me as he did no longer understand how and basically tried to coach me love. It wasn't quitting drugs i necessary help with (he tried to take my money, threaten sellers and acquaintances) yet why i replace into doing it, which he ought to in no way help with. regrettably his love and efforts wasn't effectual sufficient in redeeming me as a expert necessary to help me come to words with it and take care of it with the final understanding and journey. it is why i'm recommending expert help - as i think of that even the comprehensive love of yet somebody else isn't stable sufficient to interrupt this cycle. stable success to you the two x
2011-07-17 11:44 am
It is a tough situation. From mental health point of view, you can only convince him about its adverse effects. Then it is for him to listen and change his mind towards better.

The best other alternative available is to pray honestly and sincerely with lot of ardent devotion. Prayer does wonders. Sincere prayers will be answered soon.
參考: own
2011-07-17 11:41 am
dear take him to psychiatrist
參考: buddy
2011-07-17 11:38 am
i think your boyfriend is either is depressed or he might have trapped aggression and thats the only way he knows how to let out aggression i suggest mabye seeing a psychiatrist or gettting him a punching bag to let out so aggression.
2011-07-17 11:34 am
he doesn't respect himself does he?

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