How can I help my 12 year old son?

Since he has done it from such an a early age, I think that he has some kind of psychological problem that needs to be taken care for by specialist. You did say that he was in some kind of therapy, but I guess that it wasn't the right one for him. Insist on expert therapy, changing therapysts until you do find one thath will be able to help your child. Good luck!

I blame myself for his problems, though I know I have done my best
>> Sorry it looks like your "best" wasn't good enough! Try better!
go to parenting classes!

Hello Ms!! I'm a 14 year old girl and I can try my best to help you with this problem with my small knowledge of...life >.> ehehehe (I was a bad child...still am...) Sorry if I sound harsh or even hurtful or even disrespectful, but this is something that can scar ur child. So sorry in advance Ms!!

1) DONT PUT HIM IN THOSE THERAPY SESSIONS OR DETENTION CENTERS ANY MORE. That only make it seem as if u DONT want to be with him at his worst. Like any other romantic relationship, take the good with the bad. The less time he spends away from u, the more neglected he feels. He needs support. Just don't be too forceful in many subjects. Like his gf or skwl. As, Bs, and Cs are acceptable. Ds and Fs aren't. Help him with his homework, check on him if he's doing a project and bring something warm to munch on. Don't say anything, just be in his presence. It's a nice way to slowly tell him that ur there. Don't let him go too far with things tho. Discipline is needed for a child to grow up into an experianced persona. Find the right amount of discipline and use it, just don't go overboard and learn to control ur anger.
2) He steals to get ur attention. Wierd as it sounds, if he doesn't get enough attention from u, then he will do these things. Maternal love is needed in this time. Understand him. Don't think that you know everything. Sending him to those places may have broken off something I like to call trust and expectations. He expects you to stand up for him at the right time, and he needs you to teach him when it's not right for you to butt in. He needs to grow by himself too, you can't always feed him forever. Life isn't that long.
3) Never, dear no, NEVER say too negative things about his bad choices. He's gotten into a fight at school? Don't be angry with him. Ask him why he was in it to begin with. Don't ask too many questions, just reassure him that you are there if he needs you and if he was the one to instigate it and it was wrong, u need to frown slightly and tell him that sometimes, other people do things according to what they believe in. They will fight for it if he is willing to insult it. He should know this if he's willing to fight for something he believes in. As a favorite quote of mine says, "don't shoot someone unless u r prepared to be shot at"
4) space. No, not givin him too much so that he can become wild and unreasonable, enoguh to spread out his arms and legsand run around a bit, but not so much that things will shatter at his touch. Leave him alone if he comes home in a bad mood. Let him cool down. Then at dinner, make his favorite food or randomly come in and tell him to get ready to go out and take him somewhere fun. Like his favorite restaurant or a place he enjoys a lot or talks about a lot. He will open up to u if he's more relaxed and smiling, plus, the smile must be wonderful to a parent as you.
5) Questions. Ask the right ones. The ones that you FEEL as I'd u have the RIGHT to ask him about, such as how are your grades doing or did you don anything bad today, may make him feel as if he's not trusted. Ask the normal questions. Like anything interesting about ur day, cuz mine was pretty quiet would suffice better then a normal How was your day. We respond to sentence order, how it is said, and word choice. Make him feel closer to you by asking questions in a more modern way and add a little humor (comon, Chika, ur using a freaking computer here, ur not tht bad ;]) it helps with the bonding part
6) School. Don't force him to take classes that he will fall asleep in. The four cores are a must, but his elctives r HIS electives. Be ready to have him ask u for help sooner or later if this works. Let him explore. Let him make his own choices. It's better than another D or F on the report card.
7) Smile. Sometimes, a mothers smile can ease up a childs day. It means that ur more open and willing to help. Don't smile if he's in a bad mood. It might be interpreted as mocking.
8) Privacy. He's a growing boy. Period. Not every secret can be comfortable enough to be said aloud, even to ur own mother.
9) Enjoy his presence. U never know if he can be taken from u the next day or minute or the next second perhaps. He's already 12. Not long before he's driving and partying with friends (set a curfew. 10:30-11:00 is effective foe teens) he won't turn back into a baby. You can't erase his time at those places he was sent to, so overwrite them with memories of a time when u PLAYED with him as if he was ur best friend. Let him open up. Like a little flower.

you have to lay it down momma.
and keep him in your view @ all time.
if he lies. punish him. take everything away and snap.
give positive reinforcement for not stealing such as 5 dollars or ice cream or something like that when he doesn't steal or lie.

When he steals take him back to where he stole from and make him apologize for stealing and give back the item... if he it was food and he ate it make him apologize and then take him home and make him do chores to pay you back for paying for the item. If he keeps stealing.. while he is with you or from your house tell him he can not leave your side as a punishment so you can watch his every move! If he wants your trust back he will have to earn it!

Consult a doctor, like a psychologist or something.