有無人有英文笑話???(急!)

Q: What looks like an elephant, walks like an elephant, but weighs nothing ? A: An elephant’s shadow Q: What type of jam you never put on bread ? A: Traffic jam Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can fight knights. Q: Why does the pony cough?

A: He is a little hoarse ! Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

A: He had no body to go with! Q: What is Father Christmas /Santa’s surname ? A: 何 ( He said ‘ Ho, Ho, Ho ‘ ) Q: What did the banana say when the elephant walked on it ? A: Nothing…... bananas don’t talk ! Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor ? A: Because it wasn’t peeling very well ! http://kids.yahoo.com/jokes

Teacher : Jane , what are the three words which pupils use most ofter school?
Jane : i don ' t know ...
Teacher : Correct .


Teacher : Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century ?
Pupil : Yes , sir , I can . They are all dead .


Teacher : Ann , why don ' t you wash your face ? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning .
Ann : What was it ?
Teacher : Egg .
Ann : Wrong , teacher . That was yesterday .


Mother : I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning , Johnny , and now there is only one piece left . Can you explan that ?
Johnny : Well , I suppose it was so dark that i didn't notice the other .



" If you refuse to marry me " he swore , " I shall die . " She refuse him .
He died sixty year later .



Thomas is showing his report card to his father , who looks delighted . Father calls to his wife , " Hey , Ann , come and look at this report -- I got an A in Maths . "


Jim : Sometimes I like my teacher .
Friend : When ?
Jim : When she ' s sick and has to stay home .


Jenny : ( is crying and says to teacher ) I hate school , and I have to stay here until I ' m 16 .
Teacher : I know how you feel -- and I have to stay here until I ' m 65

Patient : I ' ve decided to commit suicide .
Psychiatrist : Don ' t do anything rash until you ' ve paid my bill .


Patient : I ' m so frightened -- this is my first operation .
Surgeon : I know just how you feel -- this is my first operation , too .


" Why are you looking at the mirror with your eyes shut ? "
" I want to see when i ' m asleep . "





2011-05-18 00:48:40 補充：
打錯字 , 第一個果個 ofter 係錯 , often 先係0岩

2011-05-18 22:46:02 補充：
1 . teacher : 學校d 學生用得最多係邊3個字 Jane : 唔知道... teacher : 正確

2 . teacher : 可唔可以講d 關於18世紀最偉大科學家ge野我聽 pupil : yes sir , 佢地都死晒

3 . teacher : Ann 做咩唔洗面呀 , 你今朝食過咩我都知啦 Ann : 我食過咩呀 ?
teacher : 蛋囉 Ann : 唔係呀 我係尋日食過呀

2011-05-18 22:47:46 補充：
1 . teacher : 學校d 學生用得最多係邊3個字 Jane : 唔知道... teacher : 正確

2 . teacher : 可唔可以講d 關於18世紀最偉大科學家ge野我聽 pupil : yes sir , 佢地都死晒

3 . teacher : Ann 做咩唔洗面呀 , 你今朝食過咩我都知啦 Ann : 我食過咩呀 ?
teacher : 蛋囉 Ann : 唔係呀 我係尋日食過呀

2011-05-18 22:48:04 補充：
4 . mother : Johnny , 我今朝放左2件cake係櫃度 , 做咩而家得番一件 , 你可以解釋下嘛 ? Johnny : 噢 , 因為太暗我無留意到另外果件

5 . " 如果你拒絶我 " 我發誓 " 我就去死 " 結果她拒絶左佢 60年後佢終於死左

6 . Thomos 比張成績表爸爸睇 , 爸爸見到好開心 跟住同佢老婆講 : Ann 你黎睇下張成績表 -- 我數科攞左個A 呀