幫改英文作文

I am writing to express my opinions on a newspaper article about some parents who would like to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. In my opinion,it is not a good idea because if the parents teach their children at home then the children may become an introvert since they stay at their home all the time.If the parents send them to school, it may overlook something important for their children.
First of all, children can make friends at school. The effect of studying with friends is much better studying at home alone as they cannot compare their results with others and make improvement in home. Moreover,children cannot experience different things other than studies at home such as social skills, extracurricular activities and so on. Certainly, there are many students in the school as a family which can give much support to the children for their growth.
Secondly, school offers important knowledge to children,so that the children can know what they are studying at school after they have grown up.It falls their nice memory of childhood.
Nowadays, most of the parents is too busy.They do not have enough time to teach their children because the parents are always busying to work for a living.Therefore, if they do not have a wealthy environment or professional teaching materials ,they should send their children to school.Furthermore, some of the parents are not well-educated, so they cannot act as a professional teacher to their children to teach them.
On the whole, I do not think home-teaching is a good idea,whether the parents have enough ability to teach the children or not. I believe sending children to school can help them have a better education, which is important for their future. Therefore, sending the children to school to have education is a much better choice.
你好.你英文真系要改進下^^我盡量吾改變你意思黎改,但我建議你都留意下你既part of speech同文句方面,英文真系吾系中文直譯就okay架:)
仲有,小心D點用relative clause,你個"who"成日都用錯ah D:
希望我改既野幫到你:)