批改英文作文

2011-04-04 9:01 pm
希望大家可以幫下我改英文writing 因為retake 英文ce
作文真係好差..希望大家可以幫幫忙


Write a funny story for your school magezine about a disagreement between a robot and a human being.
A human who name call Peter.He is a machinist.He has a robot dog and named the robot dog Wa.Wa is made in Peter company.It can help housewife to do housework.Peter and Wa have a lot of funny in their family.This is all of one of their funny story. One day, Peter do not works in company.He was bored in home.So he ask Wa'what do you alway do in home'. ' I always do housework.Do not see that?'Wa said. A few mintunes later, Peter has decided to do housework.So he put a tub of water and swept his room.Suddeny,Wa yelled 'what do you doing now?Don't move! Do you know you have taken a mistake'.But Peter doesn't understander where his mistake.Wa was angry and said 'You must follow of my sweep step!'Peter can't believe of that Wa was yelled for him.'Why i must follow your sweep step? I don't need your help forever.Get out!' Peter said. And than Wa ran out.

A few hours ago,Peter has washed machine and swept his room already.He was tired and said "Wa,have you cooking dinner? I am hungry!".But no one answered him. He knew Wa has never came. when he was upset,he heard a sound.It is Wa.Wa was appeared in kitchen .Peter felt happy and gave Wa a hug.What do you cooking for me?'Peter said 'I am cooking a fried rice.' But Peter shoted 'What? Why do you cook this for me?i hate it do you know?'.....

The two of them were loud disagreement angain. They have not finished their argument from a small problems.But that is really funny.


回答 (5)

2011-04-06 7:37 am
A human whose name was Peter. He was a machinist. He had a robot dog and he named the robot dog Wa. Wa was made in Peter’s company. It can help housewife to do housework. Peter and Wa had a lot of fun in their family. The following was one of their funny stories. One day, Peter did not work in the company. He was bored at home. So he asked Wa, 'What do you always do at home?', 'I always do housework. Don’t you see that?' Wa said. A few minutes later, Peter decided to do housework. So he poured a tub of water and swept his room. Suddenly, Wa yelled 'What are you doing now? Don't move! Do you know you have made a mistake?' But Peter didn’t understand what mistake he had made. Wa was angry and said, 'You must follow my sweep step!'Peter couldn’t believe that Wa was yelling at him. 'Why must I follow your sweep step? I don't need your help forever. Get out!' Peter said. And then Wa ran out.

A few hours ago, Peter had swept his room already. He was tired and said "Wa, have you prepared dinner? I am hungry!".But no one answered him. He knew Wa would never come back. When he was upset, he heard a sound. It was Wa. Wa appeared in the kitchen. Peter felt happy and gave Wa a hug. What are you going to cook for me?'Peter asked. 'I am cooking a fried rice.' But Peter shouted, 'What? Why do you cook this for me? I hate it! Don’t you know?'

The two of them had loud disagreement again. They did not finish their argument on a small problem. But that was really funny.
參考: myself
2011-04-05 4:47 am
A machinist Peter had a robot dog named "Wa". The robot dog was manufactured in the company where Peter worked. Wa could help housewives with housework. Since then, there were a lot of funny things happened between Peter and Wa.
...

備註: 其餘部分,可參考其他回答者的修改內容!
2011-04-05 3:10 am
A human whose name called Peter is a machinist. He had a robot dog and he named the robot dog Wa.Wa was made in Peter's company/ Peter Company(Peter的公司?/一間名叫Peter的公司).It could help housewife to do housework.Peter and Wa have a lot of funny in their family(此句不如改做: There were a lot of funny things happened between Peter and Wa).This was one of their funny stories. One day, Peter did not work in company.He was bored in home.So he asked Wa,"What do you usually do iat home?" ' I always do housework.Don't you see that?'Wa said. A few mintunes later, Peter decided to do housework.So he put a tub of water and swept his room.Suddenly,Wa yelled "What are you doing now?Don't move! Don't you know you have made a mistake?".But Peter could not understand what his mistake was.Wa was angry and said "You must follow of my sweeping steps!'Peter couldn't believe that Wa was yelling at him.'Why must I follow your sweeping steps? I don't need your help again.Get out of my house!' Peter said. And then, Wa ran out.

A few hours later,Peter had washed machine and swept his room already.He was tired and said "Wa,have you cooked dinner yet? I am hungry!".But no one answered him. He knew Wa would never came back. When he felt sorry of what he had done to his dog,he suddenly heard a sound.It was Wa.Wa appeared in kitchen !Peter felt happy and gave Wa a hug."What have you cooked for me?'Peter asked. "I am cooking fried rice for you," the dog answered. But then Peter shouted, "What? Why do you cook this for me? I hate it ,don't you know?".....

The two of them argue with each other again. They had not finished their argument yet because they always got some small problems.But this is really funny.



2011-04-04 19:19:35 補充:
建議你可多做文法練習,並且看簡單的英文故事書, 使自己熟悉英文句子的運用&學到更多好詞語。
2011-04-05 12:33 am
Write a funny story for your school magazine about a disagreement between a robot and a human being.

Peter works as a machinist. He has a robot dog called Wa, which was manufactured in the company where Peter works. Wa can help people with all types of housework. Peter and Wa have a lot of funny moments at home. This is just one of their stories. One day, Peter was feeling bored. So he ask Wa, "'What do you do all day at home?'.
" I do all the housework. Didn't you know?' Wa answered.
Some time later, out of boredom, Peter decided to do some housework himself. So he took a bucket of water and started to clean his room. Suddenly, Wa yelled out, 'What are you doing? Don't move! Don't you know you're not supposed to do the housework? '
But Peter didn't take any notice. Wa was very annoyed and uttered, 'You must follow my sweeping steps!'
Peter couldn't believe that Wa was telling him what to do.
'Why should I follow your sweeping steps? I don't take orders from a robot. Get out of my way!' Peter rebuked. At this point, Wa ran out.

A few hours later, Peter had finished washing and cleaning his room. He was tired and so he cried out, "Wa, have you cooked dinner for me yet? I am hungry!". But no one answered him. He realised Wa was not there. Then there was a noice. It was Wa, who had suddenly appeared in the kitchen. Peter felt very relieved and gave Wa a hug.

"What are you cooking for me?" Peter enquired.
'I am cooking fried rice.' But Peter screamed, 'What? I don't like fried rice. Didn't you know that?'.....

The two of them then started to argue all over again. They haven't stopped arguing now. That is really funny.

參考: teacher
2011-04-05 12:04 am
A human whoes name was Peter. He was a machinist. He had a robot dog and named the robot dog Wa. Wa was made in Peter’s company. It could help housewife to do housework. Peter and Wa had a lot of fun in their family. This was [] one of their funny stories. One day, Peter did not work[] in the company. He was bored at home. So he asked Wa, “What do you alway do at home?” “I always do housework. Don’t you see that?” Wa said. A few minutes later, Peter had decided to do housework. So he poured a tub of water and swept his room. Suddeny, Wa yelled “What are you doing now? Don't move! Do you know you have made a mistake.” But Peter didn't understand what was his mistake. Wa was angry and said 'You must follow on my sweep step!' Peter couldn't believe of that Wa [] yelled at him. “Why must I follow your sweep step? I don't need your help any more. Get out!” Peter said. And [] Wa ran out.

A few hours later,Peter had [] swept his room already. He was tired and said “Wa,have you cooked dinner? I am hungry!”. But no one answered him. He knew Wa would never come. As he was upsetting, he heard a sound. It was Wa. Wa had appeared in the kitchen . Peter felt happy and gave Wa a hug. “What do you cooking for me?”Peter asked, “I am cooking [] fried rice.” But Peter shouted, 'What? Why do you cook this for me? You know I hate it!”.....

The two of them had loud disagreement again. They did not stop their argument on a small problem. But that was really funny. 文法要全改為past tense作故事。句子段落大部份保留原句,但有些太錯的便改了或[]省去。

不過最大的問題是題目叫你作一篇「好笑」(funny)的故事,但故事並不搞笑,不叫人開心(fun)亦不是叫人發笑(funny),留意這兩個字(好像是同一個串法)並不是同樣意思的。不如一篇爛gag可能還要好。


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