請英文高手幫忙, 改正錯處 ???

1- Whenhe met up a woman whose name was Lily, a beautiful name.
不正確：
句法上when...., 之後是要跟接著情況，他遇上一個女士(遇上是met，不是met up，meet up的意思是接頭或交接，例如兩人從兩地出發相約在一個中間城市接頭，才是they met up in xxx)..., 之後怎樣，接著的不是「一個美麗名字」。
這句沒法改正，因為意思不全。你的重點在說Lily是一個美名，這跟he met her完全無關的。
可能這樣寫：
He met a woman, whoes name was Lily. This was a beautiful name.

2- His virtue was well received gradually.
文法無錯。
3- If you can love and be loved, be sure to lovewith all your soul.
＝４
4- If you can love and to be loved, be sure to love with all your soul.
文法無錯 。英語人甚少love with all your soul的，一般說love with all your heart.
5- Seeing his lady was insulted, he beat the drunken man on his face.
文法無錯。但beat...on his face的verb跟object英語人不會這樣寫的。beat是整體的打的動作，打面英文會用「拳打」punch(ed)這個字。

1. When he met with a woman whose name was Lily, a beautiful name.
2. ----------------------------do---------------------------------------------------------------.
2. His virtue was developing gradually.
3. If you want love and being loved, be sure to love with all your soul.
4. -----------------------------do--------------------------------------------------------------
5. After seeing his grilfriend was insulted, he was very angry and hit that drunken rascal in his face.

有邊啲字你一定要用?

Sorry 1 樓
He met a woman, whoes name "was" Lily. "This" was a beautiful name.

was? 條女唔再叫Lily?
邊有人用this was嫁....同埋"曾經"係靚名? that was / it was / this is

1, he met a lady who has a beautiful name called Lily.

2, fine

3, 1 樓 講得好 if you are capable to love or belove, besure you go with your heart , "all your" 好似over咗啲

4, 可以跟一樓或者寫成 Seeing his girl get insulted by a drunken man, He beat him up.

外國人叫自己條女做My Girl, My Lady 會變左做尊貴嘅女士
Beat up 既係打殘佢, punch him on his face 就打佢一拳，睇下你想佢傷成點啦


2011-03-22 20:36:01 補充：
3, Be sure 可以用 make sure 代替