10CE Eng paper 1B Task2 Q1
My week without a mobile phone
Nowadays,every one have own mobile phone,have you image that your life without mobile phone ? Recently,i have participated in the activity in my school called "A week without mobile phone".I am sharing my experience about this to here.
In first day,i need to locked my mobile phone in the lockers.Then,i stayed in a house that was arranged by my schools.When i had been staying here on whole day,i felt very bored.In the past,i can listening the musics,playing the apps games and sending messages to my friends through mobile phone,but now i can't do anything.I intended to give up but i wonder if i can overcome the challenge,i insisted to stay in here a week.
Over 3 days,i started to adapt the life without mobile phone.Besides,because i haven't spent the time for using mobile phone,i have more time to readed book and studied home work.Apart from this,i can enjoyed the quiet environment due to wihtout mobile phone.
The time was ran so fast,i haven't use this a week!Over the week,i have reflected about using mobile phone.In fact,although we can get more fun in using technology products.However,have you think that overuse the technology products may spend your time and ignore other important things in your life?
Anyway,i have a meaningful experiences during this week.
篇文究竟有level幾?
又求英文高手幫我改文
2011-02-21 8:48 pm
回答 (2)
2011-02-22 6:55 pm
✔ 最佳答案
At a glance, I can tell that there are more than fifty mistakes. You should learn the basic grammar rules first. If not, your English will never improve. Ask your teacher for help. Take the first sentence in the second paragraph as an example. In first day,I need to locked my mobile phone in the lockers. We use "on" for days. We need a "the" before "first". Why "need" is not in past tense? It is better to use "had" instead of "need". It should be "lock" instead of "locked". It should be "in a locker" instead of "in the lockers". After making all these changes, the sentence is grammatically correct but the meaning is not very clear. People dont know whether it was only for the first day that you had to lock your mobile phone in a locker.
2011-02-21 11:15 pm
篇文屬於低level。
單單看篇文的第一段的第一句：
Nowadays,every one have own mobile phone,have you image that your life without mobile phone ?
就已經錯漏百出。
Everyone是一個字，不是分開的。
Image這個字用錯了，我猜你要表達的意思是「想像」，因此應該用imagine一詞。
其實，整個句子就算如上述般改完，仍然是不妥當的。因為很有chinglish(中式英文)的味道。
單單看篇文的第一段的第一句：
Nowadays,every one have own mobile phone,have you image that your life without mobile phone ?
就已經錯漏百出。
Everyone是一個字，不是分開的。
Image這個字用錯了，我猜你要表達的意思是「想像」，因此應該用imagine一詞。
其實，整個句子就算如上述般改完，仍然是不妥當的。因為很有chinglish(中式英文)的味道。
收錄日期: 2021-04-13 17:50:16
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110221000051KK00461