we're not engaged YET. I feel he's pushing things too fast. He says it's just 6 weeks or so to see if we are compatible...he says it's not a marriage proposal. I said "whew", "oh good". He also said if I don't go ( classes start Feb 27th) then I'm not serious about our relationship. I beginning to think not. On valentines, he said he won't leave me so don't YOU leave me. It felt like an order. He has great qualities and he's emotionally mature. He told me I'm a wonderful woman and that I'm perfect for him. But this was months ago when he hardly knew me. I told my GF "how do I know he's perfect for me?" BTW my friends like him.
He has a married female friend that I feel uncomfortable with. He goes out of his way to see her. He invites her to social events which she always declines because she will never admit he bothers her. But I can tell. Her husband of course doesn't mind. He's proud of his sexy wife. I don't like how giddy he gets when he's around her. He says he's done nothing wrong. "I like her". Like my feelings don't matter unless it suits him. We've been seeing each other @6 months. When I asked God for a good man to love me, I asked the wrong thing. I should have asked Him for happiness. We were both married before and now divorced, so, we're no spring chickens. He's a single dad fighting his ex for custody. He's financially strapped. I have church obligations, my job and artistic talents to pursue. Instead of getting closer to my BF, I'm getting farther away. I'm happy when I'm with him but lately, I can't wait to go home and be alone.
I'm not sure if I want to go to these classes. I'm not sure about this guy. Maybe I'm not sure about marriage. Maybe I need the classes, but not the man. I don't know.
Help me do the right thing! Share your experiences, please!
Thanks
My BF wants to go to pre-marital classes and we're not engaged?
2011-02-20 12:30 am
回答 (5)
2011-02-20 12:43 am
✔ 最佳答案
Wow You sure were not dating the same guy? I just stepped out of an 11 year relationship and my new bf sounds alot like yours. Hes pushy in the relationship. pushing comitment, pushing engement and pushing marriage. He is such a fantastic guy and i kinda ran with it in the begining cause i didnt want to hurt his feelings. But what i realized is that its MY life and if i get married to this guy i gotta live with it forever. So when he was going to propose 30 days after my divorce when through I said Absolutely not. I know you love me and I love you too. but im not ready for it and im not going to be ready for a while. It hurt him pretty bad. But luckily he does love me and realized that just cause hes ready doesnt mean i was. It sounds kinda ugly to say dont ask, but we were only together for 9 months.
2011-02-20 8:40 am
If you can't wait to go home and be alone, then he is not the guy for you. I don't think you are ready to be with this man and if you are on a deadline with this class then he will know that you really are not ready to settle down with him or any one else right now. If he gets upset and leaves, then your problems are solved. Don't be with someone to make them happy because you can't make someone else happy, only yourself.
2011-02-20 8:39 am
run girl run if u need counseling this early u really think its gona work ur answering ur own question u dont need classes just a different man run when u pray for something have patience dont jump on first thing that comes along sweet mildred is my leader join me in her playpen
2011-02-20 8:34 am
No, don't go to the classes. You clearly aren't ready for marriage and there are problems in your relationship. From what you described I get the impression that you are ready to break up with him. I think you need to decide what you really want for yourself and if this relationship is worth the effort anymore.
2011-02-20 8:32 am
Isn't there a certain lack of ethic to attending pre-marital classes when you aren't? Why not see a therapist if you need help?
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