英文高手入來幫我改文呀[20]

Christmas is one of my favourite festivals and I had some memorable moments/sceneries during this Christmas holiday. [1.記住每逢寫one of…xxxs必定要plural眾數的-理由是one of的意思是眾多之中的一個。這句你的favourite的從多個節日中提名出來成為至愛的。2. memorable已經是memories所以不可以重用的，你原句的寫法是「好懷念的記憶」吧，好像沒錯，但英語上memorable已經包括記憶和懷念的形容詞，接下去你要告訴人那些懷念或記得的是甚麼東西。]At the beginning of this Christmas holiday, I went to Shatin with my friend in order to buy some useful books. When we arrived at our destination, we went to a big shopping mall that was full of Christmas decoration. Then, we went to several bookshops(或bookstores) which offered a wide variety of books. We finally bought some books that we needed. It was really a rewardingjourney. [some改為several是表達你已去過的多間書店而不是說「一些」書店。另一點有點問題但沒改你的:bookstore當然是有很多不同種類書的店，所以這句有點「我阿媽係女人」。in quest of有點古老英文，現代一點用needed會易明些，由於你前文說是要些useful books，所以這裏回應所需要的「有用書」；坦白講，其實useful books亦有點是癈話，建議你改為to buy some reference books以表示不是一些娛樂/消閒書。]Even though there were many people who went out to celebrate Christmas (或for Christmas cerebration), I preferred staying [不用pp] home and starting my revision instead of playing during the Christmas holiday. I would [like to的意思是想表示意見，但你這裏不是表達意見，是說明你的狀況，would say才是肯定指出(我見很多同學都學錯和用錯這verb phrase)] say I was so busy in the Christmas holiday as there were lots of homework I had to complete. [未玩得好量化詞前先作些簡單句子吧！do是過程，目標是「完成」因此才要努力嘛！]Having a Christmas dinner with my family was the most joyful moment of the Christmas holiday. I enjoyed spending time chatting with my family when we were having a Christmas dinner. [你的句法verb是enjoy和chat，但我估你想說的verb是enjoy…(spending time and chatting)with family，所以我把你的句改了。當你發覺with family出現兩次時你要學懂發現組錯句式。]Although I had to get a lot of work done in the Christmas holiday ,I enjoyed the Christmas atmosphere, especially being with my family together.[這句大部份重覆上段，意義不大。是詞窮的表現。我改寫了作總結但不用上面用過的詞句。]

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Christmas is one of my favourite festival and I had some memorable memories during this Christmas holiday.At the beginning of this Christmas holiday, I went to Shatin in order to buy some useful books with my friend. When we arrived at our destination, we went to a big shopping mall which was full of Christmas decorations. Then, we went to some book shops which offered a wide variety of books. We finally bought some books that we always wanted to buy. It was really a rewarding journey.Even though there were many people who went out to celebrate Christmas, but I preferred to stay home and start my revision rather than playing during the Christmas holiday. I would like to say I was so busy in the Christmas holiday as there were much homework for me to do.Having Christmas dinner with my family was the most joyful moment of the Christmas holiday. I enjoyed spending time with my family and I chatted with my family happily when we were having Christmas dinner.Although I was busy in the Christmas holiday, I enjoyed spending time with my family in a place that was filled with Christmas atmosphere.

Nice work, keep it up!


圖片參考：http://imgcld.yimg.com/8/n/HA00945776/o/701012270114413873432230.jpg

Christmas is one of my favourite festival and I had some memorable memories during this Christmas holiday.At the beginning of this Christmas holiday,I went to Shatin in order to buy some useful books with my friend .When we arrived at the destination ,we went to a big shopping mall which is full of Christmas decoration .Then,we went to some book shops which offered a wide variety of books .We finally bought some books that we were in quest of .It was really a rewarding journey.Even though there were many people who went out for celebrating Christmas, I preferred staying at home and started my revision to play during the Christmas holiday.I would like to say I was so busy in the Christmas holiday as there was much homework I had to do.Having a Christmas dinner with my family wasthe most joyful moment of the Christmas holiday.I enjoyed to spend time with my family and I was chatting with my family happily when we were having a Christmas dinner.Although I was busy in the Christmas holiday ,I enjoyed to spend time with my family in a place that was full of Christmas atmosphere.


成篇文都無問題,D文法呀,D用詞呀,D TEST都無問題,作得幾好!
你可以唔信,因為我都唔係老師