grammar check + vocab improvin

Cash killerKiller

2010-12-19 9:28 am

As an old saying goes: out of sight, out of mind. If we want to keep a good contact with Rafael, we have to visit him regularly. And we have to do sty funny together. At the last day if the tour, we will go to Spain together with Rafael to enjoy a football match in Barcelona. We will watch Barcelona football club with Real Madrid football club. All of us are fans of Barcelona football club, our favourite football stars are Lionel Messi and David Villa. Their passing and shooting skills is prefect. We hope we would have great time there. Budget The budget for the 7-day tour would be around $100000 for 3 people as we have to buy tickets for the football match and for the airlines. The cost for the tour would be high, that’s why we say that we cannot fulfill our dream holiday. Therefore, we hope that you will support our plan and give us the sponsorship for the tour. ConclusionOpportunity knocks but once. We all know that it would be our last chance to visit different countries together. That is because we all would immigrate to 3 different countries; we really hope that our dream holiday would come true. WE are now putting all eggs in one basket but I think that’s worth!

回答 (1)

AceOfSpades

2010-12-19 3:10 pm

✔ 最佳答案

If we want to keep a good contact with Rafael, we (would) have to visit him regularly and do (something) funny together. (As planned), on our last day (of) tour, we (are going) to Spain together with Rafael to enjoy a football match in Barcelona. We will watch (a match between)Barcelona and Real Madrid football club. All of us are fans of Barcelona football club, our favourite football stars are Lionel Messi and David Villa. Their passing and shooting skills (are) prefect. We hope we would have great time there. The budget for this 7-day tour would be around (one hundred thousand dollars for three of us) as we have to buy tickets for the football match and the airliner we are going to travel in. The cost for the tour (is going to) be high, that’s why we say we cannot fulfill our dream holiday as planned. Therefore, it is our hope that you will support our plan and give us the sponsorship for the tour.We all know that it would be our last chance to visit different countries together. (This) is because we (are going to) immigrate to (three) different countries (soon); we really hope that our dream holiday would come true. We are now putting all our resources together and we hope it is all worth while!*Edited to future tense + revision of words.

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