改英文文法!!!(3個40分!!!)

(盡量無改原文)
紅色＝修改部分
藍色＝解釋

Good afternoon everyone. My name is Peter. I am the marketing manager of a film company.
1) Everyone 係一個字. I want to ask you a question...have you ever read a novel titled The Old Man and the Sea?
If not, it doesn’t matter. Today，I’m going to talk about a film also titled The Old Man and the Sea.
2) Matter 係動詞. "It doesn't matter" 係 "唔緊要". I’ll tell you my opinion of the plot and the leading actor.But first, let me give you some information about this film.
3) 好少人講"tell you information"，通常係"give you information"或就咁"tell you"。 This film was directed by John Sturges. The plot was rewritten from the novel of the same name. It is an inspiring film.
4) 改正文法

This film took place in Cuba in the Carribeans .
5) 通常係咁講加勒比海既古巴The main character of this film was an old fisherman named Santiago .He was a strong man but he was unlucky.
6) 第一句唔需要"who is"。　第二句如果改成"He was strong but unlucky"或"He was a strong but unlucky man"會更簡潔。

He had gone to sea for 84 days without catching any fish at all, but he had a wish. He wanted to catch a huge fish as when he was young.
7) "Gone to the sea 84 days"應改成"Gone to sea for 84 days" 。　
唔係太明第二句。。。
如果係話佢由細開始就想釣到大魚就改為"He had always wanted to catch a huge fish ever since he was young"
如果係話佢想釣到條魚同佢小時候釣到既一樣咁大就改為"He wanted to catch a fish as big as the one he caught when he was young" On the eighty-fifth day, a huge fish took his bait. Santiago and the fish tug at each other for two days and nights.
8) Tug在這比較合適。　Tug of War解拔河。 Could he catch the fish in the end ? 　I recommend you to watch it yourself. You will know what the ending is .
9) 在這用"in the end"而非"finally"會較合適。

希望幫到你 :D

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http://www.hkenglishstudy.info

希望可以幫到你!

If not, it doesn’t [] matter. Today，I’m going to talk about a film , its name is also called the old man and the sea. It is an inspiring film.
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The main character of this film is an old fisherman, who is named Santiago .He is a strong man but he is unlucky. He has gone to the sea 84 days without catching any fish at all, but he has a wish. He wants to catch a huge fish as when he was young.On the eighty-fifth day, a huge fish takes his bait. Santiago and the fish pull each other two days and two nights
以上這段應該全past tense.
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Did he catch the fish finally? [Could原本也串錯]

You will know what happened to the ending.

Good afternoon every one. My name is Peter.I am the marketing manager of a film company.I want to ask you a question. Have you ever read a novel called '' The old man and the sea''?If not, it doesn’t a matter. Today，I’m going to talk about a film , it also called the old man and the sea.I’ll tell you my opinion of the plot and the leading actor.But first, let me tell you some information about this film. This film was directed by John Sturges. The plot was rewritten from the novel of the same name. It is a inspiring film.This film was taken place in Caribbean Sea in Cuba .The main character of this film is an old fisherman, his name is Santiago .He is a strong man but he is unlucky. He has gone to the sea for 84 days without catching any fish at all, but he had a wish. He wanted to catch a huge fish when he was young.On the eighty-fifth day, a huge fish was taken his bait. Santiago and the fish pull each other within / for two days .Could he catch the fish finally? I recommend you to watch it by youself.Then, you will know what is the ending.
* Bald 左嗰D字就係correct (確定/ 對) , 請因應我個advice 去改la!~3~ *Hope can help u la!

Good afternoon every one. My name is Peter.I am the marketing manager of a film company.I want to ask you a question. Have you ever read a novel called The old man and the sea?If not, it doesn’t matter. Today，I’m going to talk about a film ,it also called the old man and the sea.I’ll tell you my opinion of the plot and the leading actor.But first, let me tell you some information about this film. This film was directed by John Sturges. Theplot was rewrote from the novel of the same name. It is a inspiring film.This film took place in Caribbean Sea in Cuba .The main character of this film was an old fisherman, who was named Santiago .He was a strong man but he was unlucky. He had gone to the sea 84 days without catched any fish at all, but he had a wish. He wanted to catch a huge fish as when he was young.On the eighty-fifth day, a huge fish took his bait. Santiago and the fish pull each other two days and two nights.Could he catch the fish finally? I recommend you to watch it yourself. You will know what the ending happened.