English presentation 改病句

未必完全正確，可能會有錯漏(我也只是學生)

Good morning everyone .Today ,I would like to talk about alone.I think alone is a unbearable(難受) things because I had try it before.
In the September.My mum went to England for ten days.So I become alone in that ten days.In the firist ,I was very happy that I can do any thing in my home. But after a few days. I can also do anything in home but no one was here, No one can listen to me and talk or play with me .Only have me was study at home!Everyday I must to do all the housework .And now , I know that my mum how tired to do the housework.It was many things to do.I must to wash clothes ,wash the dishes and sweep the floor .In this time ,I was tried and I wish my mum come back quickly .But I know my wish won't come ture. When I sleep,I was scary .When the wind blow the cartain,It was very horrible .It like a ghost was coming to catch me. When there have a sound .It similar a monster roar. All the things was horrible .
Luckly,few days ago,my mum was come back .When I saw my mum come to home, I was very happy .I don't want to feel lonely any more. Alone was very horrible.It can't make you happy,it only give you scared. So don't think alone was freeAnd don"t try it.If you don"t want to be unbearable .That all of my sharing thank you.


希望可以幫到你!!

Good morning everyone .Today ,i would like to talk about loneliness.I understand that being lonely is very bad because i had try it before.In this Septmber .My mum went to England for ten days, so i became alone in those ten days.In the first place ,i was very happy that i can do any thing at home. But after a few days. A lthough I can do any thing at home, nobody was here. No one can listen to me , talk with me and play with me .I am the only one at home! Also, i must to do all the housework .Now , I know that my mum had tried so hard to do the housework.there was many things to do.I must wash clothes ,wash the dishes and sweep the floor .At that time ,i wish that my mum would come home quickly.But in fact,it would not be the truth. When I was asleep.I was scared .When the wind blew the cartain .It was very horrible .It resemble that a ghost was coming to catch me. When there have a sound .It is similar to a monster roar. All those things were horrible . When my mum come home. I was very happy .I don't want to be alone after that . Loneliness was very bad.It wouldn't make you happy.And you will become lonely and you cannot tolerate it. So I don't think that Loneliness is good .And never try it .If you don"t want to be sad .That is all of my sharing thankyou.

Red - mistakes
Yellow - my recommendations

2010-11-22 17:34:31 補充：
this ans isn't good, from the 1st sentence, "talk about alone" is already wrong!!! it should be loneliness.

Good morning everyone .Today ,i would like to talk about alone.I know alone is very bad because i had try it before.In (the) septumber.My mum went to England for ten days.So i become alone in the ten days.In the firist ,i was very happy that i can do any thing in home. But after a few days. I can do any thing in home.No one was(s) here. No one can listen to me , talk with me , play with me .Only me at home!And also i must to do all the housework .Now , I know that my mum how tired to do the housework.It was many things to do.I must to wash clothes ,wash the dishes ,sweep the floor .In this time ,i was more wish my mum quickly come.But in fact,it would not be the ture. When I sleep.I was scary .When the wind blow the [cartain]CURTAIN .It was very horrible .It resemble a ghost was coming to catch me. When there have a sound .It similar a monster roar. All the things was horrible . When my mum come home. Iwas very happy .I don't want to be alone after that . Alone was very bad.It wouldn"t make you happy.And you will become lonely and you intolerable lonely. So don't think alone was good .And don"t try it.If you don"t want to sad .That all of my sharing [thank]you.

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Good morning everyone. Today, I would like to talk about being home alone. I know being all by yourself is a very bad thing because I had experienced it before. In September, my mum went to England for ten days. So I was all alone for the ten days. I was very happy at first because I could do any thing I want at home. But after a few days, I got a little scared because no one was here, no one listens to me, talk to me or play with me . I was all by myself, alone! To make things worst, I must to do all the housework and it makes me understand how tired my mum was after I did all the chores. There were many things to do. I had to wash my clothes, wash all the dishes and sweep the floor. At that moment, I wished my mum would come home sooner. But my wish did not come true. When I go to bed, I was really scare, the wind caught the curtain and it resembled a ghost was coming in to catch me. It was horifying. When there is a slightest sound, it seemed like a monster roar because the night was so.. quiet. All the things was terrifying.

Mum finally came home. I was so happy to see her and I don't want to be alone ever again. Home alone was very bad. It would make you unhappy because you're lonely, it is a bad feeling to be lonely. So don't think being home alone is fun coz' you never know who is gonna knock on your door the bext time when you're alone.

That's all of my sharing
Thankyou.