以下咁寫有無問題, 中寫英

有以下的問題：
一、invoices that we have not received the payment
that 是個relative pronoun，是received的object。所以把payment寫在received之後便等於有兩個direct object，在文法上是錯誤的。若你要寫payment，那該寫payment for the invoice；那麼，寫成relative clause便是invoices for which we have not received payment。
二、the payment 不正確，因為這並非指定的付款。
三、意思上，check the invoice只是去「查閱賬單」，跟你想客人去付款的意圖有出入。

你可以直接一點寫
According to our records, the attached invoices have not yet been paid. If you have any questions, please contact Ms Kan at 2803 7393.

發問者: 您所寫的第一句和第二句皆合乎英語語法, 惟其句意未達您的原意. 以下為依照您的原意的譯本, 希望能幫上幫忙 :

1. The outstanding balance(HK$xxxx) as shown on the following invoices has not paid yet. Please follow up it.(Please settle the payment as soon as possible.)

2. The outstanding balance(HK$xxxx) as per the attached invoices has not paid yet. Please follow up it.(Please settle the payment as soon as possible.)



Should you have any queries, please contact our Ms Kan on 2803 7393.

備註 : 括號內的句子, 供您參考而已.

1.The below invoice is currently due (on October 1, 2010). Pleas insure that payment will be made in a timely manner.

2.The attached invoice is currently due (on October 1, 2010). Pleas insure that payment will be made in a timely manner.

If you have any question, please don't hesitate to contact Ms Kan at 2803 7393 for assistance.


(Hope it helps.)

2010-10-21 11:25:59 補充：
due --> past due

That's ok.

FYI, 'to' after help can be eliminated.

Well done!