Ielts Writing - Editing_Part1

Seeking advice for my writing. Please feel free to edit and give comments. Thx! The writing is split into two parts due to word limit, this is Part_1, sorry for the inconvenience. Here is the topic:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To say the huge sales of commonly welcomed consumer goods are depended on the great marketing skills, like successful advertisement, of the seller, is not overstating, because large majority of people indeed do not know what they want, but influenced by advertising, still brought particular goods.
It may be surprising when we carefully observe our own buying behavior, we would find that advertisement is often the origin of our motive to obtain goods or services. In fact, many of us may not truly understand ourselves and cannot figure out what we exactly want. At this time, advertisement helps us to decide our action. For example, during tea time at work, we like to purchase coffee form Starbucks for 'relaxing' and 'recharging'. However, a Starbucks coffee may not be able to fulfill the two purposes all the time. What we need may just be a nap or chatting with co-workers with some drinks such as water. Therefore, advertising is really powerful that it implants some ideas in our brain, forming some of our habits.