急, 幫我改GRAMMAR AR 唔該(20 點GA)

Hong Kong is one of the most famous cities in the world. She is famous for her economis systems, the beautiful Victoria Harbor, our pride of having a mix in Eastern and Western culture. However, Hong Kong is also famous in her highly densed high-rise buildings and poor living conditions. People in Hong Kong have been living in high rise building for a long time. As someone from Hong Kong, I deeply understand the living conditions of Hong Kong and I have thought of improvements since I was little.

After I had a HKALE examination, I decided to study architecture as my dream. I would like for all my thought about improving my living place to come true and design my own dream house. XX University is exactly the kind of university that could help make my dream come true.
During the two years of studying architecture in XX University, I would learn the basic knowledge in buildings and grow my interest in the field of architecture. Also, I discover that architecture is not only use to fulfill my dream, but it can also serve the community. I will become to have a biger vision after my study. I can change the way people live and work and provide them a different way of living style and a better condition of living in their daily life. Soon, I will start to have more ambitious toward my future career and continuing my study to finally become an architect.

Architecture is learnt by sight but not by book. We need to learn through seeing and feeling the master pieces so that we know the spacing design and the theme that the architect want to tell the people. I have had a great experience in my study tour to XX and XX that I felt deeply about the architecture there. One is a modern city and the other's a developing city that is full of history. Through these tours I learn how the culture, history and the need of people will shape the architectures of a place. And this is the reason why I would like to study aboard.

Hong Kong is one of the most famous cities in the world. She is famous in her economic systems, the beautiful Victoria Harbor, the Eastern and Western mix culture etc. However, Hong Kong is also famous in her high dense high rise building and poor living condition. Hong Kong people always stay in high rise building. As a Hong Kongers, I deeply understand the living condition of Hong Kong and I have a lot of thought about my living place since I was small.

After I had my HKALE examination, I decided to study architecture as my dream. I would like to make all my thought about improving my living place in real and design my own dream house. So I go to XX University to study architecture.
During the two year study of architecture in XX University, I learnt the basic knowledge in building and I grow my interest in the field of architecture. Also, I discover that architecture is not only use to fulfill my dream, but it can also serve the community. I become to have a bigger vision after my study that I can also change the way people live and work and provide them a different way of living style and a better condition of living in their daily life. So, I start to have more ambitious in my future career and decide to continue to study and finally be an architect.

Architecture is learnt by sight but not by book. We need to learn through seeing and feeling the master pieces so that we know the spacing design and the theme that the architect want to tell the people. I use to have a great experience in my study tour to XX and XX that I feeling deeply about the architecture there. One is a modern city and one is a developing city that full of history. Through this tour I learn how the culture, history and the need of people will shape the architecture. And this is the reason that why I would like to study aboard. After I decide to continue to study in architecture.