Help me to check my gramma

最明顯的错誤是"wife": 結了婚的才是太太 - wife; 而你的故事中, 他們未結婚, 所以應用未婚妻(fiancee) 或女朋友 (girl friend).

另外, 留心 tense 和 infinitive 的問題:

1) One day, Tim went to buy the new house because his fiancee / girl friend wanted to get marry with him.
2) But he didn't have enough money.
3) So he went to the bank to borrow a loan.
4) When he arrived the bank, he read that agreement on paper, in black and white very carefully.
5) After he signed up the agreement, he could have the loan.
6) He felt very happy because he had enough money to buy his "Dream House".
7) After a few day, they got married.


The 2nd one:
Long long time ago, there was a boy called Tim. He was a poor children.
One day he visited his friend's home.
Suddenly he saw a black and white TV for the first time of his life.
He at once came home and told her mother what special thing he saw.
He asked her mother to buy one for him but her mother refused.
So he went to the market to find some works to do. He believed
that day would come very soon.
After one year he had enough money to buy it so that he felt very happy.

Where there is a will there is a way.


Hope the above helps! You have done a nice job, keep trying!

One day , Tim wanted to buy a new house because his wife wanted to get married with him.
2)But he didn't have enough money
3)So he went to the bank to borrow money
4)When he arrived at the bank ,he saw the agreement on paper,in black and white.
5)After he finished signing his agreement,he can have the loan
6)He felt very happy because he had enough money to buy his Dream house.
7)After few day his wife got married with him,


Long long time ago , there's a person called Tim. He was a poor child.

One day he went to his friend's home for fun / entertainment. <---???

Suddenly he saw black and white Tv for the first time .

He immediately came home and asked his mother he saw that special. <===??? is he asking or is he telling??

Also he asked his mother to buy one for him but she refused.
So that he went to the market to find some job to do.

He believed that day will come very soon.

After one year, he was very excited because he had enough money to buy a tv .

Where there is a will there is a way

)One day Tim went to buy the new house because her wife wanted to get marry with him.
2)But he didn't have enough money
3)So that he went to the bank to borrow money
4)When he arrived the bank ,he saw his agreement down on a paper which was black and white.
5)After he finished to sign up his agreement,he can had his money
6)He felt very happy because he had enough money to buyt his Dream house.
7)After few day his wife got marry with him,



Long long time ago had a person who called Tim.He is a poor child.
One day he went to his friend's home for entertainment.
Suddenly he saw a black and white Tv for the first time .
He came home at once and asked with her mother he saw that special.

Also he asked with her mother to buy one for him but her mother refused.
So that he went to the market to find some job to do.He believed
that day will come very soon.
After one year he can have enough money to buy them so that he felt very happy.
Where there is a wish there is a way.


hope can help u, if wrong, just point out