Gammar Checking 2

Kyy010203

2010-08-16 11:58 pm

I always think that children will definitely have happy childhoods. However, I know it is not easy as what I think because Adeline is one of the examples. I feel sorry for Adeline after reading her story because she grew in a heartless family and could not gain any love and care. Also, she was usually bullied by her stepmother and siblings. I think Adeline’s father is also evil and cold-blooded because he usually turned a blind eye to Adeline and did not help her when she was bullied. In my opinion, parents are responsible to look after their children. However, he is not competent for a father as he did not give Adeline the warmth of family. On the other hand, I am appreciated with Adeline because she is brave and kindhearted. Although she was living in such a cheerless family and facing her family’s bullying, she did not felt scared and shrinked back. Moreover, she tried hard to survive and achieve her dream. Therefore, I think even though Adeline had a miserable childhood, she got a wonderful future. Also, Adeline’s past experience made me believe we will also be succeeded if we have made unremitting efforts.

回答 (1)

Jenkin

2010-08-17 1:16 am

✔ 最佳答案

I assume children should have happy childhoods. However, Adeline is one of the examples that is against to my thinking. I feel sorry for Adeline after reading her story. She grew up in a family without any love but bullied by her stepmother and siblings.
I think Adeline’s father is evil and cold-blooded because he usually turned a blind eye on Adeline when she was bullied and did not help. In my opinion, parents are responsible to look after their children. Her father is not competent as the head of the family. On the other hand, I praise Adeline because she is brave and kindhearted. Although she lived in such a cheerless and faced with abuses, she did not felted scared and retract. Instead, she tried hard to survive and pursue her dream. Therefore, I think Adeline will have a wonderful future despite her miserable childhood. Her experience makes me believe we will be successful if we have made unremitting efforts.我不想把你的文章改動太多，希望你自己查看對照改過的部份是怎樣寫出你的意思而不太累贅。[heartless, gain love and care, achieve her dream are Chinglish; appreciate with沒有這phrasal verb的。好在你的文法和連接詞基本功都不錯，一般的寫作句子都ok，只是用詞上未能應用英語語法的寫法，多看英文小說/說明文，吸收多一些某一種意思的詞句寫法。]

👍 0 👎 0