Can anyone help grade my ielts writing?

<<Declining English standard in Hong Kong>>

Surfing though the Internet, it is by no means difficult to Google numerous discussions about the fact that English standard in the territory is falling. (What are some possible reason for this? Pose your theory here. Give at least two or three. This is where you introduce your thoughts and set up your paper) It is a problem that is causing ________________)

One of the reasons for declining standard in China, is because of an overall decline in our English teachers' standard. From newspaper and TV news, we know that almost half the local English teachers who took the English assessment test failed. This definitely undermines the teaching quality because they even cannot manage the language well, not to mention what they can teach our next generation. (How/Why is this happening? I would suggest that you discuss the fact that formal English is on the decline amongst English speakers themselves. With texting and blogging, English speakers have taken on a more colloquial tone in general. This has in turn, seeping into the quality of English teachers, who may not suitably be prepared assist their students.)

Another major contributing factor is lack of time on task. While people of previous generationsspent less time on entertainment, these days we have (more and more interesting things ) this is your personal opinion about writing – leave it out. You may arugue that the STUDENTS’ interests don not include their education, but don’t agree with the kids in your paper) to do after school or work, ranging from watching TV, playing computer games to learning ballet, yoga and even skiing for the affluent. These activity simply distract us from practical subjects, like English. Students are not spending time reading. This generation is also one of convenience and causual discourse. The time and disciple required for good writing grows out of time consuming practice and observation of formal spelling and grammar rules. by nature, students today are used to doing that is fast and simple. While adults find their writing incomprehensible, it often makes sense to their peers, so students have no real incentive to improve.

In order to solve the issue, it is my believe that the government has a pivotal role to play. For one thing, the government should boost the standard our English teachers by providing them with more supporting course and materials. Admittedly, the teachers nowadays are too busy to polish their English while working, this measure, however, at least can give them an alternative way to consider during their leisure time. Further and even more importantly, the government can promote more interactive English campaigns, emphasizing learning English is not such boring and using it in daily life is not insurmountable.

By way of conclusion, it is clear that, we cannot stem the tide of decreasing English standard in the short term. However, I believe that the steps mentioned above would be helpful.


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I did a bit of restructuring work in your first paragraph. You need to flesh out your aguments throughout the paper a bit. You have basically stated your position and given a one sentence reason for it. It leaves your paper short, informal, and unsubstatiated. Take a look at the articles below and cite them as references in your paper. This will help flesh it out. You're in the right direction, good luck

Getting any kind of quality consulting online will be difficult unless you come across someone experienced in marking the IELTS examination. The band descriptors are quite explicit with what examiners are looking for. I have some interesting articles that you can read at http://www.myieltssolutions.com that provide insight into what is needed for good band scores.

Cheers

Grading : 7.0.

You need to offer two or three reasons, at the outset.
After you have analyzed the reasons and offered solutions for each of them,
You must make a clear conclusion.
Avoid long sentences, where you lose the train of thought. The sentence then won't read truncated, in that case.