幫我check一check D grammer,15點~唔該

Yesterday was my birthday,I am ten years old now.Although that day was a rainy day,but I didn't feel sad because I received many birthday gift.I was in my house in the afternoon owing to the heavy rain. At night,my family and I went out to have sushi for dinner since I like sushi. But that day was Saturday,so we had to wait for seats for a long time.
After having dinner,we came home.Before we ate the birthday cake,we sang a birthday song.Then,we started to eat the cake.It was yummy! I was very happy.My next birthday is coming soon!

This sentence does not make sense.

I am not sure what you want to add in your writing.
Please specify.

I think you are not familiar with the tense which your writing
requires.

Yesterday was my birthday. I am ten years old now. Although that was a rainy day, I did not feel upset as I received many birthday gifts. Yet, I had to spend the whole afternoon staying at home because of the bad weather.

2010-07-22 03:08:03 補充：
At night, my family and I went out to have sushi for dinner, because I like to eat sushi. Since that day was Saturday, we had to wait for a long time to get a table.

2010-07-22 03:08:27 補充：
After dinner, we went back home. My family bought me a big birthday cake with a lot of strawberries on top. Before having the cake, my family sang me a birthday song. I was really moved! Then, we started to eat the cake which was really yummy!

2010-07-22 03:08:34 補充：
I had a very great day yesterday. It was nice to spend the whole day with my family. I love my family very much.

這裏可以幫到你
http://twoiquyw.clidc.com/yahoo.com.hk/hk/auction/178987536

I am ten years old now. Yesterday was my birthday. Although that day was a rainy day, I didn't felt sad because I received many birthday gifts.I stayed at home that afternoon because it was raining outside.

In the evening, my family and I went out for dinner. We chose sushi because I like it very much. However, that day was Saturday, so we have waited for a long time before we could have a sit.

After having dinner,we went home and prepared for eating a birthday cake. Before we started to eat the cake, we sang a birthday song. The birthday cake was yummy!! I was very happy.

I hope that my next birthday could come sooner!

2010-07-21 14:31:23 補充：
基本上你的意思很完整. 我想不到有些什麼要加上去. 除非是一些你知道但我不知道的事情.