can you edit this thesis?

2010-07-18 7:58 pm
I have to do a comparative essay between the time traveler's wife and Hamlet.
I want to say that there is similar, yet different relationship of friends, couple, and peers among the characters in these books

My thesis:
Although most of the relationship between couples, friends, and peer in Audrey Niffenegger ‘s The Time Traveler’s Wife and William Shakespeare’s Hamlet are drastically different, they sometimes share the same situation with diverse reasons that are developed though the plot.

I don't really like it cause it is not strong enough. Can you edit it for me to make it way stronger, yet bring out what i want to say.

thanks

回答 (1)

2010-07-18 8:02 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Although the relationship status drastically differ between couples, friends, and peer in Audrey Niffenegger ‘s The Time Traveler’s Wife and William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, they ultimately share a parallel situation with diverse reasons that are developed though the plot.

you had a pretty strong thesis already, its only some of the wording that needed to be changed around. "Although" and "ultimately" are two words that are great for creating an argument in a thesis.


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