please edit this for 10 points...?

Romeo Dallaire’s implicit thesis statement develops through the content of the essay. From the beginning of his crucial Rwanda peace keeping journey to the end where he shares his thoughts of sadness about it clearly deliver the thesis of this piece: “The scarify of the innocent citizens is the result of the society’s selfishness and greediness that sought to hang on to power.” This thesis is implied and supported throughout the whole piece of Cri de Coeur. If Hutus does not have the avarice of ruling the Tutsis, “800,000 men, women and children would not be killed.” (Dallaire, bibliography) If the UN countries do not see in Rwanda no strategic value and no oil, they would have sent their troops down to Rwanda and prevented this disaster to happen. If the RPF child unit does not have the greed to find more members and build its power so they can fight back the Hutus, the three-years old boy would not get “yanked from his arm and carried directly into the bush.” (Dallaire, paragraph 11) By finding the examples of the main idea that are hidden in this essay, readers learn that greed can negatively affect the society and cause tragedies to happen.

please make it less wordy and make it flow and formal