關於英文見工自我介紹,很急......THX!

我叫xxx,今年26歲,住屯門,f.5畢業,於xx公司有5年助理店舖經理經驗,而且亦於xx公司有2年資深美容顧問經驗,主要管理店舖日常運作,處理文件及安排人手工作,教導同事如何提供優質顧客服務,
本人從雜誌得知今次招聘,而貴公司因有優厚薪酬及福利,所以我對這份工有興趣, 故來申請面試見工,如果貴公司能夠給與我機會,我必在此用心地學習及努力工作''

My name is xxx, aged 25, lived at Tuen Mun. Form 5 graduate. I have 5 years experience in shop manager at aa company and 2 years experience in bb company as a senior beauty consultant. My mainly job duties is manage the shop daily schedule, documents follow up including customer complain or suggestion, arrange the jobs of my teamates, and lead the teamates to provide the best customer service.

I know there is a employment which offered by your company through the magazine, and your company provide a very attreactive package for the employee. So I am very interested to have an interview with you. If there is a chance for me to join your company, I will work hard and learn hard. Thanks for giving me a chance to have an interview again.

請問呢d內容夠唔夠呀??
夠, 但幫你加多尾一句. 顯示你的誠意及禮貎.