英文作文, 煩請幫忙改改

Today, I would like to tell you about the district I live in - Tin Shui Wai.
Let me be a tour[] guid to help your [] visit. First, if you want to go to Tin Shui Wai from Tsuen Wan. You can take the West Rail. It just need [] fifteen minutes. It is a very fast transport.

Then you can travel by the Light Rail to Yuen Long or Tuen Mun. It has linked up the northwestern New Territories [] that made our travel in between districts more conveient . Remember [] Light Rail is not connect to Tsuen Wan.

[]There is one place in Tin Shui Wai you must [] visit. That is the Hong Kong Wetland Park. There are many different kinds of birds there during migration season and the crocodile "Pui Pui" has a permenant home there. Moreover, a second place you must go is the Hang Heung Cake Shop. In the past during the Moon Cake Festival maybe your parents would have gone there to buy the mooncakes. But nowadays, buying mooncakes are very convenience. It becomes the tourist attraction to go there and buy the 老婆餅. Have you ever try it? It tasted very good.

Finally, I would like to introduce you a future idol Miss Cherry Ho. Be careful, she is not the same at our class Ho XX , She is Ho Tze Wai, She has got the first runner up at "The Voice Singing Competition" She [] lives in Tin Shui Wai too. Maybe the next Super Star will be coming from Tin Shui Wai soon.

This is the end of my presentation, thank you for listening.

整體作容好豐富，不過真是要努力改進英文：
Remark some of your grammar mistakes/understands:
導遊是tour guide，不是tourist，雖然你帶的是tourist，但你是個安排行程導賞(tour路線)的人，這是英文的邏輯，你看是否中文的導遊亦一樣，並不是「導客」。
There is/are = has/have
good (adj) 用法不等於 well(adv.)
住在一個地方是live in，某東西在一個地方是at
second是排第二，我想你是說下一位...要用second.你只能死記住這些中英對照的用詞關係才不會思想和寫的時候用錯。

祝你演講成功。

Today, I would like to tell you about my NEIGHBORHOOD- Tin Shui Wai.
BE MY GUEST! I WILL BE YOUR tour GUIDE AND TAKE YOU AROUND. First, if you want to go to Tin Shui Wai from Tsuen Wan. You can take the West Rail OF THE MTR. It TAKES ONLY fifteen minutes.

AFTER you GET OUT OF THE STATION, YOU can travel by the Light Rail (Yuen Long to Tuen Mun only). THIS MINI TRANSPORT SYSTEM LINKS up the northwestern New Territories's REGION. THE SYSTEM HELPS THE LOCAL RESIDENTS TO HOPPING FROM STATIONS TO STATIONS BETWEEN YUEN LONG AND TUEN MUN.

There ARE one place you must visit. That is the Hong Kong Wetland Park. There have many different kinds of birds and WILDLIVES CAN BE SEEN. ALSO, THE FAMOUS crocodile NAMED, "Pui Pui" IS NOW SETTLING THERE. The second place is the Hang Heung BAKERY. ITS ONE OF THE OLDEST HOME MADE CHINESE BAKERY IN HK. IN THE OLD DAYS, ESPECIALLY during the Moon Cake Festival FOR EXAMPLE, PEOPLE FROM KOWLOON AND HK ISLAND SIDE TRALVEL ALL THE WAY TO "HUNG HEUNG" TO buy THEIR FAMOUS mooncakes. But nowadays, buying mooncakes are very CONVENIENT. THE CHINESE BAKERIES HAVE OPENED NUMBEROUS RETAIL BRANCHES ALL OVER HK. FOR the TOURISTS, THEY LOVE to go there TO BUY the WIFE'S CAKE (老婆餅). ITS A FLAKY CAKE PACKED WITH GREEN BEAN PASTE. ITS REALLY DELICIOUS WHEN ITS WARM. Have you ever TRIED IT?
Finally, I would like to introduCe you the future SINGING STAR Miss Cherry Ho. BUT Becareful THOUGH, she is not OUR CLASSMATE MISS Ho XX, She is Ho Tze Wai, She has got the first runner up at "The Voice Singing Competition". She is also lived IN Tin Shui Wai too. I WILL WISH HER TO BE FAMOUS AND REPRESENTING THE TIN SUI WAI AREA.

This is the end of my presentation, thank you for listening.

2010-06-01 02:06:54 補充：
SORRY OUT OF QUOTAS.

SHOULD BE: There IS (NOT ARE) one place you must visit.

我推薦您一個非常不錯的英語學習網站，里面有很多非常不錯的學習資源：



http://www.hkenglishstudy.info



希望可以幫到你!

Today, I would like to tell you about my district - Tin Shui Wai.
Let me be a tourist guide to help your visit. First, if you want to go to Tin Shui Wai from Tsuen Wan. You can take the West Rail. It just need to take fifteen minutes. It is a very fast transport.

Then you can travel by the Light Rail between Yuen Long to Tuen Mun. It links up the transports of northwestern New Territories and it makes us more conveience. You have to remember that you cannot take this route at Tsuen Wan.

Then there is one place you must to visit. That is the Hong Kong Wetland Park. There are many different kinds of birds and the crocodile "Pui Pui". Moreover the second place is the Hang Heung Cake Shop. In the past during the Moon Cake Festival your parents would need to go there to buy mooncakes . But nowadays, buying mooncakes are very convenience. Tourists could to go there and buy the 老婆餅. Have you ever try to eat, it tasted very well.

Finally, I would like to introduc e the future idol, Miss Cherry Ho to you . Be careful, she is not the same at our class Ho XX , She is Ho Tze Wai, She has got the first runner up at "The Voice Singing Competition" She is also lived at Tin Shui Wai too. Maybe she shall become the second Super Star of Tin Shui Wai .

This is the end of my presentation, thank you for listening.

Today, I would like to introduce my district - Tin Shui Wai.
Let me become a tourist guid to help you to visit it.First, if you want to go to Tin Shui Wai from Tsuen Wan, you can go to there by West Rail , it just for fifteen minutes. It is a very fast public transport.

Moreover, you can travel Light Rail from Yuen Long to Tuen Mun. It had link up to the northwestern New Territories's transports, that is more conveienve for us. But you cannot travel Light Rail at Tsuen Wan.

Furthermore, there is one more place you should visit. That is the Hong Kong Wetland Park. There are many different kinds of birds and the famous crocodile which one is called "Pui Pui". Also the second place is the Hang Heung Cake Shop. In the past during the Mid-Autumn Festival,your parents prehaps need to go there and buy the mooncakes. But nowadays, buying mooncakes is very convenience. It becomes the tourist to go there and buy the sweet heart cake (老婆餅).Have you ever try to eat it? It taste is very well.

Finally, I would like to introdue you the future idol Miss Cherry Ho. Be careful, she is not the same with our class who called Ho XX , She is Ho Tze Wai, She got the first runner up at "The Voice Singing Competition". She is live in Tin Shui Wai too. I think the seond Super Star from Tin Shui Wai will coming soon!

This is the end of my presentation, thank you for your attention.

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