Proofread the posture and introduction of my design project?

2010-05-24 6:45 am

Hi~
I'm Jane from Hong Kong. Would you please help me to proof read it and make the words more beautiful.

About your posture
I wanna be a backpacker to traveling around Europe to get more inspiration in Design.

Posi-Talk
POSI-TALK is talking about the positive thinking. It aims to encourage youth how to think positive and make their life better. My concept is based on the cards and the types. The types means the inner conversations of your brain. To be a positive people, the first step in changing our attitude is to change our inner conversations.

回答 (1)

[匿名]

2010-05-24 6:55 am

✔ 最佳答案

When you say "to be a positive people" ----> either a positive person or positive people.
The whole sentence sounds weird. I would say: To change our attitude and become positive people, we need to change our inner conversations.
When you mention "the cards", you should be more specific.
When you say "t aims to encourage youth how to think positive and make their life better." ----> It aims to encourage the youth to think positive and improve their life.
When you say " The types means " ---> The types represent.......

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