英文勁既人,,唔該幫下我.. 好急~

macao：
去見工, 與接見你的人不認識,不要先叫 Hello, 只適宜向對方點頭,叫聲Good morning sir 或Good afternoon madame作開塲白,視乎對方性別及當時的時間而定, 這樣不卑不亢的表現已很得體了。因為是談話不是寫信, 用詞可以畧為口語化。到見完工臨走時, 向對方講聲"Thank you, goodbye and have a good
day."(若接近四五點,便改good day 為good evening) 給對方一個好印像。在下看你原文, 覺得說了年歲就不須說出生日期,若說出生日期亦說出年份就可以了。再者,graduation通常只適用於大專院校或大學,所以不宜應用。 我想你一定精於電腦操作,所以你說 Information,但Information這個字並不代表那一科,可改寫為Information Technology 或用其他方法代表, 下列是在下提供的樣版,不必一成不變地照說, 但希望你覺得參考價值：

Good morning sir, my name is XXX. I am twenty years old, living with my
parents and my( elder或younger) sister (in Mong Kok)。
I have finished my high school course (at XXX College)( in 1999).
My favourite hobbies include playing badminton, swimming and listening
to music.
As I am very interested in ( and pretty good at ) Information Technology,
I therefore shall be delighted to be able to get myself a clerical job in
your Company. I shall be grateful if you will be kind enough to consider
my application for the job.
Well, thank you very much for spending your time for this interview.
Goodbye, thank you again and have a good day.
請留意我寫在括弧內的你可以用亦可以删去。

(agree with kchan999999)

此外，見工個重點係畀老細/HR睇到你點benefit間公司，唔洗怕直接怕市儈，盡快講出你的專長及學習/工作經驗。我估你係想練習下個HR考你英文自介吧？雖然呢part主要係想考你英語表達能力，但都緊記你的談話要與工作及該公司有關。

外國人自我介紹很少講出生日期, 只說年歲已經很足夠了, 除非對方因某些原因問起, 但那個地方人士卻比較常見. 如 I was born in Macao.

不錯，只差少少細節上的標準

My name is XXX. Twenty Years old. I was born on 23 February,1990.
high school graduation, my family has 4 people including my mother, a brother, a sister and me
I like playing badminton, listening to music, AND swimming.
My best Subject is Information (? what is Information, IT? Information Technology?)
I like doing clerical work.

Refer to the last item, I think the interiewer will ask you what do you like about clerical work or what do you know about clerical work?

Be prepared how to answer these kind of work-related questions.

你應該咁:

Good afternoon sir/madam. Let me introduce myself. My name is XXX. You can call me XX(呢個可以係講你個英文nick名,如果無既話就唔洗講呢句). I am
graduated from (你之前間學校個英文名). My favourite subject is information systems, so i almost can do all of computer document software. I also is a outgoing peopIe, so i am very interesting on swimming, playing badminton. (其實盡量作多d好既興趣加入去,一d知識上技巧上既興趣,listening music就避免太過普通,因為好多人都鍾意-_-,盡量講d野去powerful自己). I would like apply this job because of xxxxxxxx(講你點解想做呢份工, 例如:興趣, 你既personality好適合你做呢份工等等), so i think i am suitable for this job. 最後記得講Thank you!

全程要盡量微笑or nice d.比人感覺舒服. 最好著西裝去interview, 比人感覺專重. 就算無西裝都要著得c文唔好t-shirt牛仔褲波鞋...
我唔係好明你講My best Subject is Information....可能我見識少唔明/_\....不過我幫你改左成為information systems會好d....因為呢個差唔多等同於你中學既電腦科...係講關於運用電腦上既word, excel一d普遍文書要用到既software. 都幾好support for你日常要用電腦既工作...其實我唔知你想見咩工....好難去幫你作一個introduction. 同埋你自己生日日期, 屋企有幾多兄弟姊妹果d都唔洗同顧主講咁多....因為對佢份工都無乜關系~我唔會用d好深既字去幫你改...因為方便d你去記.

我英文雖然都唔係好好, 但係希望幫到你~^^

見面試，自我介紹是說出來，不是寫吧。
我的建議如下：

My name is XXX. I am twenty years old. I was born on the twenty-third of February, nineteen ninty. I graduated from a high school (I finished Form Seven in YYY School).

There are four members in my family, including my mother, brother, sister and myself.

I like badminton, swimming and music.

I am good at information technology. And I enjoy doing clerical work.

My name is XXX. Twenty Years old. I was born on 23 February,1990.
high school graduation, my family has four people including mother, brother, sister and me
I interest in badminton, listen music and swim.
My best Subject is Information
I like clerical work.


(如果你有幾多家姐細妹/哥哥細佬,最好在前加返上去,唔好直接寫數目字,要寫英文字的數量)