Can you proof read my invitation letter?

2010-04-05 3:02 pm

Hi! I am a design student from Hong Kong. My english is not good. I hope you can help my to proof read it.Thanks a lot!! This is my invitation letter to Peter (CEO, a famous person) to invite them to speak something positive to our after 80’s youth.
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An Invitation of Positive talk

Dear Peter Lee,

I am a design student from XXX-university . I am working on a design project POSITIVE TALK that aims to encourage people to think positive through the positive talk. The idea of my project is inspired by our after 80’s youth thinking are too negative and some of them will using violence to solve the problem. Al through I am born in late 80’s, I had a different point view with them. First, I appreciate you and I hope I can promote a good positive atmosphere in Hong Kong through my creative way. It must be a great support to my design project if you could talk something positive in my short film. In my design project, I will create a platform via Internet to promote Positive thinking. I will create short film which recorded Hong Kong people to speak something to encourage our after 80’s. May be I will invite after 50’s to speak some positive to encourage after 80’s Youth. I will interview the peoples in Hong Kong.

I would be grateful if you could speak something positive to our Hong Kong teenagers. I think it is a good platform that you can share you positive talk among our designer, artist the people who working in the creative industry. My POSITIVE TALK project will be shown in the Graduation show of XXX university .Also, It will be shown in the designer show in XXX during June.
I hope you can spend a few minutes to talk positive to us. Finally I will put the short film in the POSITIVE TALK website.

If you are interested, please feel free to contact me at 91231234, It’s only spend a few minutes to speak your positive talk.

Yours sincerely,
Agnes Lee

回答 (1)

[匿名]

2010-04-05 3:55 pm

✔ 最佳答案

Your letter is perfectly understandable as it stands. Good work. (How's that for positive talk?) I am reluctant to fix it because I think it will tempt your prospective guest more the way it is, but if you want...

Dear Peter Lee,

I am a design student from XXX University. I am working on a design project called POSITIVE TALK that aims to encourage people to think positively through positive talk. The idea for my project was inspired by seeing that our "after-80s" youth think too negatively and that some of them use violence to solve problems. Although I was born in late 80s, I have a different point view from theirs. First, I admire you, and I hope that with your help I can promote a good positive atmosphere in Hong Kong through my creative method. It would give a great boost to my design project if you could say something positive in my short film. In my design project, I will create a platform via the Internet to promote positive thinking. I will create short film which records Hong Kong people speaking something to encourage our after-80s. I will perhaps invite some after-50s to speak some positive words to encourage our after-80s youth. I will interview people in Hong Kong.

I would be grateful if you could say something positive to our Hong Kong teenagers. I think my short film would be a good platform for sharing your positive talk among our designers and artists, the people who work in the creative industry. My POSITIVE TALK project will be shown at the graduation ceremonies of XXX University. It will also be shown at the designer show in XXX during June. Finally, I will put the short film up on the POSITIVE TALK website.

I hope you can spend a few minutes to talk positively to us. If you are interested, please feel free to contact me at 91231234. It would only take a few minutes to say your positive words.

Yours sincerely,
Agnes Lee

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