[help!]幫我改改個English story(thz

2010-03-07 11:04 pm
One sunny mornining,John went a bus stops to wait bus. Five minutes later, the bus was arrived so John used his Ocp cards to get on the bus.Luckly, he found a seat near the window. He alsofeel so comfortable that he was sleep because
he played online game at last night.

Suddenly, he heared someone to call him . He opened his eyes and asked
the bus driver , 'Where am I ? ' At the same time , he saw the bus stops name.
Then, he saw his watch. ' Oh ! I will be late ! '

Finally , the kind driver help him to find near my school road .Although John was
late, he also thank for him help.

(可以的話,請我錯左的字change 做 red color )
(等我知道我錯在那 ....)
(謝謝 ~ )
更新1:

use Past Tense !!

更新2:

我係要講呢個故事

更新3:

On a one sunny morning, John went to a bus stop . Five minutes later, the bus arrived and John used his Octopus card to get on the bus .Luckly, he could find a window seat and he was feel corfortable that he was sleep as he had played online game late last night.

更新4:

Suddenly he heard someone had called him. He woke up look at the bus driver and asked him , 'Where am i ?' Then, He looked at his watch and say,'Oh! i missed the stop and now i will be late.'

更新5:

Finally, the nice bus driver help John find the way back to his school. Although John is late, he also grateful the driver for his help. ((ok ? ((新寫的口頭story ...

回答 (5)

2010-03-14 6:13 am
✔ 最佳答案
One sunny morning, John went to a bus stop to wait for the bus. Five minutes later, the bus arrived. John used his octopus card to get on the bus. Luckily, he found a seat near the window. He slept comfortably because he had been playing online games last night.

Suddenly, he heard someone calling him. He opened his eyes and asked
the bus driver , 'Where am I ? ' At the same time, he spotted the name of the bus stop.
Then, he saw the time on his watch. ' Oh! I will be late ! '

Finally, the kind driver helped him to find a stop near the road of his school. Although John was late, he thanked the driver for his help.


P.S: What is mainly wrong is that your tenses are in the wrong place. Learn how to tell apart simple past tense and past perfect. But overall, it's a good composition with satisfying coherence
2010-03-08 8:26 pm
On one sunny morning, Jhon went to a bus stop for a bus. Five minutes later, the bus arrived and Jhon used his OCP card for the bus. Luckly, he could find a window seat and he soon fall to sleep as he had played online game late last night.

Suddenly he heard someone had called him. He woke up look at the bus stop indicator then ask the bus driver: " Where am i? "
He looked at his watch and say:" Oh! i missed the stop and now i will be late."

The kindness bus driver help Jhon find the way back to his route. Although Jhon is late, he also thankful the driver for his help.



----- you didn't make majoy mistake, but just not so smooth when reading it.
2010-03-08 8:30 am
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2010-03-08 8:03 am
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2010-03-07 11:25 pm
One sunny mornining ,John went a bus stops to wait bus. Five minutes later , the bus was arrived so John used his Ocp cards to get on the bus .Luckly, he found a seat near the window. He also feel so comfortable that he was sleep because
he played online game at last night.
Suddenly, he heared someone to call him . He opened his eyes and asked
the bus driver , 'Where am I ? ' At the same time , he saw the bus stops name.
Then, he saw his watch. ' Oh ! I will be late ! '
Finally , the kind driver help him to find near my school road .Although John was
late, he also thank for him help.



One sun shine morning ,John went a bus stops to wait bus. Then Five minutes , the bus was arrived,so John used his Ocp cards to get on the bus .He is luckily to found a seat near the window. He is feel comfortable that he was sleep .As
he played online game at last night.
Suddenly, he heared someone to call him . He opened his eyes and asked
the bus driver , 'Where am I ? ' At the same time , he saw the bus stops name.
Then, he saw his watch. ' Oh ! I will be late ! '
Finally , the nice driver help him to drived near my school road .Although John was
late, he also thank for him helped.


收錄日期: 2021-04-29 11:16:51
原文連結 [永久失效]:
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