請幫忙看文法及修改, 要交功課的~謝謝~

紅色 的字是我替你補上去的;
藍色 的字是額外的註解;
Underline 的是有問題的地方, 該用括號內的字取代;
多餘的或錯的字則用橫線將之刪去。

On the first day morning, we will have breakfast in the Moon Ting Fong restaurant. You (We) can test (try) various kinds of Dim (dim) sum, for example: (such as) Ha Gau (prawn balls), Siu Mai and Cha Siu Bau. Then we will go to the Ocean Park by the Bus (bus). We can play here (there) to 10:00pm from 5:00pm (from 10:00am to 5:00pm).

There (Ocean Park) is one (the) place we (you) must go when you visit Hong Kong which is the Ocean park.(你在第一段已經說了會去Ocean Park, 因此第二段一開始便可直接介紹這地方有甚麼好玩, 無須再作引子了。 ) The park offers the most exciting motion games for those who loves adventure, for example (examples): Crazy Galleon, the Abyss tubo Drop and the roller coaster. However, if you prefer some of the less exciting games (activities), we can go to aquarium to take a look at different marine lifes, including (such as) sharks and jellyfishes which it is (are) very beautiful and amazing . Then we must go to see the pandas in the Giant Panda Habitat. and (我建議你將熊貓館和海洋劇場分開來寫 ) Isn't enough? (上面寫的都沒有大問題, 但有否覺得太悶? 嘗試用反問句可引起讀者的注意。 ) Let's go to the Ocean Theatre to watch the sea lions and dolphin(s) performance. It is (They are) very cute but (and) funny.

For Lunch, (Worrying about the lunch?, 因為成遍文章都太平淡了, 讀者會看得很沒趣, 惟有適當地運用一些自問自答的技巧來增加文章的吸引力吧! ) We can have lunch (feed our stomach) at the McDonald or plenty of other restaurants inside the Park.

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