✔ 最佳答案
you have tried your best to tell us your ideas, i can see that from your work. However, some grammar mistakes could be found in the writing and few sentences are not fluent at all. It is a problem if you write a piece of work with lots of grammar mistakes and the sentence structure is not well organised. so no matter how good your ideas are, it spoils your work.
Do you think parent teach their children at home is better than send them to school? Many people think teach their children at home is better . Because parent doesn’t their son got hurt such as bulling .however ,in my opinion , it is wrong . there are three reasons .first of all ,the kids always is protects , If problem is coming , they will not confront and not try to solve the problem . That means they will always rely on there parents. Therefore it is a serious behaviors .An opposite , the kids in school must to face on there problem thereby to grow up.
In addition ,if children in home study ,they will not friends to play with them. Only have parents to company . long time ago , they will feel alone. An opposite , the kids in school will come across many different friends . It can improve there relationship. Even they meet up a awful things ,their friends will consolation them.
Most importantly ,parents just have a common equipment such as computer .on the other hand ,school have a different high equipment. For example, smart board , printer , screen. Teacher can use it teach effectively .Also school have a variety of course and activities such as handball team , musical instruments course . The child can choose there interest course or activities.Also It is impossible to do it at home.
I have highlighted the problems in your writing.It may be grammer mistakes, influent sentences, wrong expression, wrong spelling or something.Just try to correct them and reorganize it.
*YOU CAN GET AN E GRADE IN THIS WRITING.
