Can you correct my essay (3) ?

2010-01-28 12:44 am
Drug abuse affect the society

Nowadays, the number of people who take drug, get a risk. Especially the group of teenagers. Teenagers are the main characters of the future. The society need the new man-power to improve city.

But because of the problem of "Drug abuse", so that the quality of the teenagers get much worse than before. It may also affect the quality of Hong Kong. Then the international place of Hong Kong will be decrease.

Also, because the drugs will damage the nervous of the body, so that they may not control themselves.Because they lost their working power, no one want to employ them. The employer will employ the people who come from oversea. Then the Hong Konger will lose their place in Hong Kong. The government may not be a Hong Konger too. That is really a serious problem.

It may also affect the health care problem. Because of taking drugs, the resources of health care become more important. The parents need to pay for their children to meet the doctor because of taking drugs. Also, because resources of health care are needed, the government will add the debt to improve the resources. Who need to pay the debts? The citizen again. Then the parents of the drugs taker need to pay for twice.

Drug abuse is the most serous problem because it can affect a lot of the society. The government should think for a method to solve this problem.

回答 (4)

2010-01-28 1:20 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Nowadays, many people who is taking drugs are at a risk. The most influential group will be the teenagers. Teenager play an important role in the future, and the society needs their efforts to improve the city.

The quality of the teenagers get much worst than before as the drug abuse problem is ever-increasing. It may affect the quality of Hong Kong, then the good reputation of Hong Kong will be decreased.

Furthermore, their power of controlling themselves became difficult as the drugs will damage the Central Nervous System of the physical bodies. Nobody wants to hire them as they lost the working power. Employers would like to hire those people from the overseas. Then the Hong Kong people might lose their place in Hong Kong . That is a really serious problem which needs to solve immediately.

The drug abuse problem may also affect the health care system. Because of taking drugs, The resources of health care become more important as teenagers continue to use narcotics. . Parents need to pay for their doctor office visit expenses. Since the resources are needed, it might put the burden on the government to improve the resources. Who will pay the debts? It’s the citizens.

Drug abuse is the most serious problem because it can affect the society to a large extent. The government should think about some methods to alleviate/solve this problem.
2010-02-01 4:54 am
Thanks for your advice.
2010-02-01 1:26 am
請你用有Grammer-Check Function既software去幫你找出你篇essay的文化問題吧! 我看完你這篇essay...感覺有很多地方需要修改...就算上文有一位人兄幫你改正了一些錯處...但仍有很多錯漏!
2010-01-28 4:48 pm
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