A new age of filmmaking
Avatar is no doubt the recent talk of the town, even in every class of a school. Most of the books or the films are intriguing. Beside they almost will be instructive. Why does "Avator" become famous ?
Firstly, I think it is because it is a 3D movie. And make the film become more real. Also, every characters become more humanoid by the cybernate. Each emotions of the aliens are more similar to the human. The actions of the aliens are full of the sense of reality too. this film assemble many essence of other movies. Such as, the battle plot of heroes versus the humanoid-robot villains of Gundam and Star Wars.
The beautiful view of Pandora show how beautiful our nature is, but because human waste lots of energy and use lots of natural resources, so that these destory the nature a lot. Air pollution, water pollution, light pollution and many others are all appeared. So that the earth has been polluted and many beautiful view may not be seen now. Such as the star, we cannot see the stars on the sky in HK nowadays. It is because of the light pollution.
Avatar does not only show how wonderful the technology nowadays. Also gives out many message to us and tells us that we need to protect our home -- EARTH. we should not prouce lots of things to destory the earth.
Can you correct my essay ?
2010-01-26 8:50 pm
回答 (4)
2010-01-29 1:37 pm
Avatar is the recent talk of the town undoubtedly. It is a common phenomenon to talk about it in every class of a school. Most of the books or the films are intriguing andwill instructive as well. Why does "Avator" become famous ?
Firstly, I like it because it is a 3D movie which makes the film become more real. Also, every characters become more humanoid by the cybernate. Every emotion of the aliens are very similar to the human. The actions of the aliens are full of of reality too. This film assembles many essences from other movies, such as, “The battle plot of heroes versus the humanoid-robot villains of Gundam” and Star Wars.
The beautiful view of Pandora shows how beautiful our nature is. The nature’s beauty had been deteriorating as the human waste lots of energy. Air pollution, water pollution, light pollution and many other things destroy the natural scenery. Since the earth had been polluted, we are missing a lot of beautiful views, for example – the stars. Because of the serious pollution of the city, we cannot see the stars on the sky nowadays.
Avatar does not only show how wonderful the technology had been evolved. Many messages had been sent to us to make us aware the importance of protecting our home – EARTH. As a law-abiding citizen, we should not create various types of problems to destroy the lovely earth.
Firstly, I like it because it is a 3D movie which makes the film become more real. Also, every characters become more humanoid by the cybernate. Every emotion of the aliens are very similar to the human. The actions of the aliens are full of of reality too. This film assembles many essences from other movies, such as, “The battle plot of heroes versus the humanoid-robot villains of Gundam” and Star Wars.
The beautiful view of Pandora shows how beautiful our nature is. The nature’s beauty had been deteriorating as the human waste lots of energy. Air pollution, water pollution, light pollution and many other things destroy the natural scenery. Since the earth had been polluted, we are missing a lot of beautiful views, for example – the stars. Because of the serious pollution of the city, we cannot see the stars on the sky nowadays.
Avatar does not only show how wonderful the technology had been evolved. Many messages had been sent to us to make us aware the importance of protecting our home – EARTH. As a law-abiding citizen, we should not create various types of problems to destroy the lovely earth.
2010-01-27 9:02 am
2010-01-27 12:07 am
A new age in filmmaking
Avatar is no doubt the recent talk in town, even in school. Why does "Avator" become famous? Most books or films are intriguing for some particular reasons, but they could be educational.
[I'm just guessing what you mean by "Besides...almost...instructive 隨了｛精彩好看｝之外，還{應該}有其教育意義."-你的寫法完全係非語文(英文本身或把英文直譯為中文都解唔通)－原句夾在Avata作主詞的兩句中間不妥，令人無法跟住你轉subject的，先講完一樣再講另一樣。]
Firstly, I think it is fun to watch because it is a 3D movie. It make the motion picture become more lively. [假如把影片變得真，你是會住一條條黑色的格仔在你面前走呀走呀咁][電影有很多同義詞可用，我選了motion picture因為無論英文的用詞和你的意思都是說那些電影裏面的畫面(picture)看來好像現實景象那麼生動(lively motions)]
Also, the characters become more humanoid due to cybernate editing.[這句只改了語法(文法)，但humanoid是人形，可能你是想說人性化，例如包括外星人和動動都因為電腦動畫的修飾加工而有人性?如對－請用human-like]
Every emotion of the aliens is similar to that of humans. The actions of the aliens are smooth yet strong. [上文已經交代了真實感，這裏說動作則要把動作的感受描述出來，smooth和strong只是我感受的體會的兩種對比感，帶出電影中那種矛盾劇情]
This film assembled many essences of other movies, such as, the battle plot of heroes versus the humanoid-robot villains of Gundam and Star Wars, and ...[假如你說many請最少說出兩種獨特的例子，如不能可把ｍａｎｙ改為some]
The beautiful view of Pandora shows how beautiful nature is, but because human use up lots of natural resources and waste lots of energy, [留意因果的先後次序-先是消耗和採用原料，之後才是使用能源上的浪費] by which nature was destory for our greed. [so that是解由此/為此，後句是目標，所以做前句的事，不是前後事的因果關係，你不是想說我們是為了破壞大自然所以消耗能源和採礦吧?]
Air pollution, water pollution, light pollution and many others effects are all end- products of our way of living. The Earth has been polluted and many beautiful view may not be seen now. [不能用So that前解相同,地球是CAP寫的，否則earth是泥土〕
For example, we cannot see the stars on the sky in HK because of the light pollution.[合埋一句已完整〕
Avatar does not only show how wonderful technologies can be applied in many ways, it also sends out a serious message to us about protecting our home -- EARTH. [The last sentence is irrelevant (extra without much meanful function) and destroy your very good closing paragraph.]
2010-01-26 16:08:19 補充：
綜合而這，你整理故事的能力好，每段都說出一些重要的內容。英文課多留意subject-verb 的tense, 另外找so和so that, because, if... then等關係詞的句子寫作方法，除了本身的意思外，留意如何/那些東西放在這連接的前和後，他們的因果或關係，不要用中文思想這些關係，因為英語人的關係句式跟中文冇時是不同的，而且同樣的相關性可以有多種表達方法。
如果看不明白請私下回覆，定當盡力幫你明白一進深文法和句式運用。
Avatar is no doubt the recent talk in town, even in school. Why does "Avator" become famous? Most books or films are intriguing for some particular reasons, but they could be educational.
[I'm just guessing what you mean by "Besides...almost...instructive 隨了｛精彩好看｝之外，還{應該}有其教育意義."-你的寫法完全係非語文(英文本身或把英文直譯為中文都解唔通)－原句夾在Avata作主詞的兩句中間不妥，令人無法跟住你轉subject的，先講完一樣再講另一樣。]
Firstly, I think it is fun to watch because it is a 3D movie. It make the motion picture become more lively. [假如把影片變得真，你是會住一條條黑色的格仔在你面前走呀走呀咁][電影有很多同義詞可用，我選了motion picture因為無論英文的用詞和你的意思都是說那些電影裏面的畫面(picture)看來好像現實景象那麼生動(lively motions)]
Also, the characters become more humanoid due to cybernate editing.[這句只改了語法(文法)，但humanoid是人形，可能你是想說人性化，例如包括外星人和動動都因為電腦動畫的修飾加工而有人性?如對－請用human-like]
Every emotion of the aliens is similar to that of humans. The actions of the aliens are smooth yet strong. [上文已經交代了真實感，這裏說動作則要把動作的感受描述出來，smooth和strong只是我感受的體會的兩種對比感，帶出電影中那種矛盾劇情]
This film assembled many essences of other movies, such as, the battle plot of heroes versus the humanoid-robot villains of Gundam and Star Wars, and ...[假如你說many請最少說出兩種獨特的例子，如不能可把ｍａｎｙ改為some]
The beautiful view of Pandora shows how beautiful nature is, but because human use up lots of natural resources and waste lots of energy, [留意因果的先後次序-先是消耗和採用原料，之後才是使用能源上的浪費] by which nature was destory for our greed. [so that是解由此/為此，後句是目標，所以做前句的事，不是前後事的因果關係，你不是想說我們是為了破壞大自然所以消耗能源和採礦吧?]
Air pollution, water pollution, light pollution and many others effects are all end- products of our way of living. The Earth has been polluted and many beautiful view may not be seen now. [不能用So that前解相同,地球是CAP寫的，否則earth是泥土〕
For example, we cannot see the stars on the sky in HK because of the light pollution.[合埋一句已完整〕
Avatar does not only show how wonderful technologies can be applied in many ways, it also sends out a serious message to us about protecting our home -- EARTH. [The last sentence is irrelevant (extra without much meanful function) and destroy your very good closing paragraph.]
2010-01-26 16:08:19 補充：
綜合而這，你整理故事的能力好，每段都說出一些重要的內容。英文課多留意subject-verb 的tense, 另外找so和so that, because, if... then等關係詞的句子寫作方法，除了本身的意思外，留意如何/那些東西放在這連接的前和後，他們的因果或關係，不要用中文思想這些關係，因為英語人的關係句式跟中文冇時是不同的，而且同樣的相關性可以有多種表達方法。
如果看不明白請私下回覆，定當盡力幫你明白一進深文法和句式運用。
2010-01-26 9:17 pm
1. Beside they almost will be instructive 這一句有點怪。
2. And make the film become more real - 最好唔好用 conjunction 起頭，同埋我覺得 real 應改為 realistic
3. Also, every characters become more... 應為 Also, every character becomes more... 後面還有幾句須留意 singular vs plural，因為太多，你自己慢慢 check 吧
4. The actions of the aliens are full of the sense of reality too 這句你是想說 aliens 的動作好真實？
5. Such as, the battle plot of... 這句應與上一句合併
6. so that these destory 的 so that 要拿走
7. Air pollution...are all appeared 改為 active voice "all appear"
8. 隨後的一句用 So that 開頭不正確
9. Such as the star, we cannot... 一句有邏輯問題，難道你想說星星和我們一樣都看不到星星？
10. Avatar does not show...這句的 technology 後要加 is。下一句要同這句合併並且在 also 前加 but。
11. We should not prouce 應為 produce
2. And make the film become more real - 最好唔好用 conjunction 起頭，同埋我覺得 real 應改為 realistic
3. Also, every characters become more... 應為 Also, every character becomes more... 後面還有幾句須留意 singular vs plural，因為太多，你自己慢慢 check 吧
4. The actions of the aliens are full of the sense of reality too 這句你是想說 aliens 的動作好真實？
5. Such as, the battle plot of... 這句應與上一句合併
6. so that these destory 的 so that 要拿走
7. Air pollution...are all appeared 改為 active voice "all appear"
8. 隨後的一句用 So that 開頭不正確
9. Such as the star, we cannot... 一句有邏輯問題，難道你想說星星和我們一樣都看不到星星？
10. Avatar does not show...這句的 technology 後要加 is。下一句要同這句合併並且在 also 前加 but。
11. We should not prouce 應為 produce
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原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100126000051KK00501