幫手改文法..help me!!!

Good Morning/good afternoon. My name is Cora and I am a funny and enthusiastic person. I am 18 years old and I am studying Series 3 in Kao Yip middle school. I joined the Chinese Writing club in my school.

There are 3 members in my family. My parents and I.

I used to join the karate and singing courses when I was still young. I am now secondary 6 and I am planning to enrol a finance course in university because I would like to work in the bank as a ________ therefore I chose to study this course.

It is quite easy for me to make new friends around me because I think I am a passionate person. I often hang out with my friends and we usually play and chat. It is a happy time for all of us.

I like watching TV in my spare time; this can keep me up to date about the recent issue. For example, the environment issues also the financial problem of the whole world. Reading is also one of my habits. I like to read some educational books before I go to sleep. This can strengthen my reading skills as well as to enrich my vocabulary.

This is my self-introduction and it is my pleasure to introduce myself to you. Thank you for your attention.

個個留左空位既地方系寫你系銀行想做咩職業...自我介紹都系詳細少少比較好...

幫你改左d野...自我介紹呢, 講少少大話都ok...唔好咁過火就ok啦~
仲有幫你改左自我介紹既內容既次序...
希望幫到妳啦 :)

My name is Cora. It is a pleasure to introduce myself to you. I am 18 years old who study Series 3 in kao yip middle school. I am also a Chinese writing member in my school. There are 3 members in my family ,my parents and myself.



I am a very easygoing person, so making friends with others is easy for me. My friends and I always gather together/ We like to chitchat with each other and playing sports together. It is a happy time for all of us.



Watching TV is my favourite activity in my free time. It can keep me informed as to what is going on around the world. In addition, I like to read an essay or part of a novel before I go to sleep. This habit can enrich my vocabulary power and improve my grammar as well .



I used to join karate and singing courses during my junior secondary years. Now that I am in F6 and am planning to major in Business Finance in the university. I would like to work in a bank as financial analyst in the future, so I chose this subject. I am particularly interested in the core of corporate finance and would like to study further in this field.
This is ok~~

雖然你有自知之明，值得讚的是你會識分段來寫，但有些段落的內容有點混雜，除了改正英文文法和句式外，我試把你的內容編輯一下，讓你看看是否使讀/聽的人對你更有印象。( )的部份如在對話可省去。

My name is Cora Sou. I am 18 (years old). A Series 3 student of Kao Yip Middle School.

[I don't understand what Series 3 is. Your family members-especially you are the only child) has no interest to the person reading it. Unless you think you really need to let the reader know, then, put in as "I'm 18 and the only child in my family." ]

I'm warm hearted and easy to make friends. My friends and I get together often to chat and play. I am also fun-loving and bring happy times to everyone.

Watching TV is my favourite activity in my free time. It keeps me updated about things that are happening. In addition, I like to read a few pages of book or novel before I go to sleep. This habit enriches my vocabulary.

I used to practice Karate and had singing lessions during my junior secondary years; but I am in F6 now and planning to enroll for university to study Finance. I like to work in the bank so I have decided to choose this subject for my tertiary education. I'm currently a member of the Chinese Writing Club in my school.

It is my pleasure to be able to introduce myself. Thank you

annyinchan嘅幾好但係：
I am 18 years old who study .....
應該係
I am an 18-year-old who studies .....
或者
I am 18 years old and study .....

我唔明白:
I’m a chinese writing members in my school.

There are 3 members in my family ,my parents and I.
請用colon:
There are 3 members in my family: my parents and myself.

& My name is Cora. It is a pleasure to introduce myself to you. I am 18 years old who study Series 3 in kao yip middle school. I am also a Chinese writing member in my school. There are 3 members in my family ,my parents and myself.



I am a very easygoing person, so making friends with others is easy for me. My friends and I always gather together/ We like to chitchat with each other and playing sports together. It is a happy time for all of us.



Watching TV is my favourite activity in my free time. It can keep me informed as to what is going on around the world. In addition, I like to read an essay or part of a novel before I go to sleep. This habit can enrich my vocabulary power and improve my grammar as well .



I used to join karate and singing courses during my junior secondary years. Now that I am in F6 and am planning to major in Business Finance in the university. I would like to work in a bank as financial analyst in the future, so I chose this subject. I am particularly interested in the core of corporate finance and would like to study further in this field.

您好，我推薦您一個非常不錯的英語學習網站，里面有很多非常不錯的學習資源，您能從中得到不少幫助：



http://www.hkenglishstudy.info



祝您好運!