請各位幫忙修改英文作文(1/2)

2010-01-01 5:30 pm
這是寫一次去旅遊既blog,請各位幫我睇一下,指出我的錯誤,thx~

I am in Hokkaido
Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last summer holiday, I visited Hokkaido. It was really an amazed trip. To me, it was my first time went to Japan.

I picked the destination to Hokkaido because the air ticket price was quite low at that moment. Also, the exchange rate from HKD to yen was quite low at that time.

Hokkaido is an island at Japan’s northern extremity, surrounded by sea in all directions. It is an extensive land, accounting for 22% of Japan’s total land area. Low humidity makes the summers pleasant, while in winter had many winter sports. In addition to this, Hokkaido boasts of over 1200 festivals and events held throughout the year.

It was 7 days trip. I visited a lot of attraction point inside Hokkaido, Mt. Moiwe-yama, Furano, Hitsuji-ga-oka and Jozan-kei. Where are all a near from the city. Undergrounds or buses are to get there. Of course, undergrounds are faster than buses. In Japan, where are people called the subway to “JR”.

Now, let me tell you most unforgettable tour in Hokkaido.

Furano, where is situated along the middle reaches of the Sorachi- gawa River in the central part of Hokkaio. Just in time was the flowering of lavender throughout on the garden. And they on the gently rolling hills like the surge of the water, a vast expanse of purple flowers sea. Also, the smells from the lavender filled the garden. It is so beautiful and sweetly. My friends said to me Furano had a unique nickname – ‘”the navel town.” “The navel town, why take this funny name to the park?” I asked. They pulled at my hand and cross the street went to a quiet suburban road. Where was crowd and noisy. We tucked in the peoples and what’s happen. Suddenly, I laughed.

因為位置不足,所以有些於『請各位幫忙修改英文作文(2/2)』中……
更新1:

Because had some peoples draw funny faces on their bellies and dance in the street. My friend said, “Every summer, a humorous navel festival is held in Furano, during which about 3,000 participants draw funny faces on their bellies and dance around in the main street.

更新2:

Afterward the some days, we travelled the world Hokkaido. Also, we bought a stock of souvenirs. Such as the dry flowers, the perfume, snacks of the lavender and a useful purchase.

更新3:

That’s all for my trip in Hokkaido. Where I saw the breathtaking scenery and try local specialties. I think the habits and customs of Japanese people are more or less the same as Chinese. Thus, with such consideration, spoken language,

更新4:

roads systems and others planning was quite suitable for people living there.

回答 (2)

2010-01-02 5:21 am
✔ 最佳答案
Last summer, I visited Hokkaido. It;s my first trip to Japan. Really, it's very amazing .
I picked on Hokkaido for the destination because the price of air ticket and the exchange rate of HKD for Yen were lower at that time .
Hokkaido is an island surrounded by sea in the most northern part of Japan. It is an extensive land accounting for 22% of Japanese total area. .......


因時間有限, 容後補充.....

2010-01-02 17:59:34 補充:
In summer, there comes a brilliant scene under the temperatures with a lower hummidity. Most visitors feel comfortable. In winter, a lot of sports are made available for entertainment. Moreover, Hokkaido boasts of/(is proud of) holding over 1200 festivals and events throughout the year.
.

2010-01-02 18:03:53 補充:
During this 7-day trip/travel, I visited a lot of tourist attractions near the city inside Hokkaido, such as Mt.Maiwei Yama, Furano, Hitsuyi Gaoka and Jozankei.
To get there, you can use undergrounds or buses. Of course, undergrounds are faster than buses .

2010-01-02 18:07:29 補充:
The Japan Raiway(JR) is one of Japan's undergrounds system.
Now let me tell you my most unforgettable experience in Hokkaido .
Furano is suited along the Sorachigawa River in the centre of Hakkaido .

2010-01-02 18:11:08 補充:
It's just the time that all lavenders were blossoming into a gentle rolling hill like a waterfall in the garden/park . It's my first sight of such a special scene - the said lavenders forming a purple flower sea together with a sweet scent came flowing to me . How beautiful and sweet they are!

2010-01-02 18:21:37 補充:
My friends told me that Furano had a unique nickname "The Navel Town" . I asked them why the park was called such a funny name . They did not explain but pulled me to cross the street, and then we went into a quiet suburban road which are crowd and noisy . We asked someone what had happened.

2010-01-05 23:48:11 補充:
Suddenly, I couldn't help laughing at some people drawing funny faces on their bellies and drancing in the main street. " Every year, a humorous navel festival is held in Furamo," my friend said. " During this festival some 3,000 participants come here to take part in

2010-01-06 00:04:38 補充:
the performance / competition - drawing funny faces and dancing, " he/she added. Some days later/After some days, we went around Hokkaido and bought a lot of souvenirs such as dry flowers, perfumes, snacks and levenders..

2010-01-06 14:37:09 補充:
Apart from the breathtaking scenery and local specialties , some customs and habits of its local people are quite similiar with Chinese . With the perfection of traffic networks, Hokkaido/this city/this town is quite suitable for people to live there .

2010-01-06 14:42:02 補充:
What you have to consider is spoken language. It does'nt matter if you can speak Japanese .
That's what I saw and heard during my trip in Hokkaido .

2010-01-06 14:46:56 補充:
由於本人的英語水平有限, 誤改和錯漏,在所難免, 敬請指正!
2010-01-02 4:32 am
1 st paragraph: amazed ---> amazing
To me ---> x

3 rd paragraph:

while in winter had many winter sports
--->
winter sports make winter briiliant(or some other adj.)

4 th paragraph: It was 7 days trip ---> It was a 7-day trip

Where are all a near from the city. ---> which are all near the city.

Undergrounds or buses are to get there. ---> We can walk(or other verbs) underground or ride on buses to get there.

In Japan, where are people called the subway to “JR”.(can't read the sentence)

5 th paragraph:

Now, let me tell you most unforgettable tour in Hokkaido.
--->
Now, let me tell you my most unforgettable experience in Hokkaido.

6 th paragraph:
Furano, where is situated...
--->
Furano, which is situated...

Just in time was the flowering of lavender throughout on the garden.
--->
It was just the time when lavender blooms in every piece of land in the garden.

And they on the gently rolling hills... ---> They formed gentle rolling hills...

beautiful and sweetly ---> beautiful and sweet

My friends said to me ---> my friends told me that....


They pulled at my hand and cross the street went to a quiet suburban road.
--->
They pulled me to cross the street and we went into a quiet suburban road.


以上是本人少少愚見......Actually, I love your passage. The above is just some of my advice=]

2010-01-01 20:33:38 補充:
---> is an arrow......

Something wrong with the computer and can't display this sign.

Sorry.

2010-01-01 20:34:12 補充:
I mean >

2010-01-01 20:35:04 補充:
the three letters after --- is >
參考: myself=]


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