檢查文法please!!!

2009-12-20 10:58 pm

City people always wear their cold face and bad mood.In fact,there is not really hard to make human express their smile as we can be suddenly joyful by the very little surprise.
My concept is very simple,I design a adorable and special shape of machine which would play lovely music to attract people,they can put a corn to it for receiving a piece of joke that about the black humor,the action is convenient and easy.Another part is city people are usually to ignore the charity activities on the street cause they walk too fast but this machine can let them to stop for a while and donate .We know helping people also would let us feel great too so this is double happy on the joke and donation.
Machine can continuity attracts people for a long time cause the joke is always unpredictable

回答 (1)

simon

2009-12-21 5:25 am

✔ 最佳答案

P.S.+ =add,X =remove,>=change to

City people always wear their(X) cold face and(+have) bad mood.In fact,there(there>it) is not really hard to make human express their smile as we can be suddenly joyful by the very little surprise.
My concept is very simple,(>.)I design a adorable and special shape of machine which would play lovely music to attract people,(>.)They(>People) can put a corn to(>into) it for receiving a piece of joke that(x) about the black humor,(>.)the action(>procedure) is convenient and easy.Another part is city people are usually to ignore the charity activities on the street cause(>because) they walk too fast(>they are busy) but this machine can let them to stop for a while and donate .We know helping people also would let us feel great too so this is double happy(>happiness) on the joke and donation.
Machine can continuity(>continuously) attracts people for a long time cause(>because) the joke is always unpredictable

2009-12-20 21:26:17 補充：
wear cold faces

2009-12-25 00:01:25 補充：
Machine can continuity(>continuously) attracts(>attract)

參考: help YOU?

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