英文笑話一遍

Adam and Joseph were talking about their families.


第一個笑話

Adam said,"My grandfather was a very good conductor before he died"



"Was he a musician?" joseph asked.



"No,"said Adam,"he was struck by lightning."



亞當和約瑟正在談及他們的家人。



亞當說：「我祖父在他死前是一個很好的conductor(conductor可作指揮，或導電體解）



約瑟問：「他是不是一個音樂家？」



亞當說：「不是，他是被雷電擊中」







第二個笑話



The Bishop spoke to the congregation about the shortage of priests and nuns.



"Too many of you are only having one child and letting them go off into other professions. I propose that each family should have three children: one for the father, one for mother and one for the church."



A few days later, the bishop was out shopping when he saw a pregnant woman from his parish. But before he could say hello, she shouted above the crowd,"This one is yours, Bishop!"



有一個主教對他的會眾說及，神父和修女的短缺。



他說：「你們當中太多人只生一個孩子，並讓他們從事其他行業。我建議每個家庭應有三個孩子，一個為著爸爸，一個為著媽媽，一個為著教會。」



幾天後，主教外出購物，並看到一個他教區的孕婦，在他向她問安之先，她當眾大聲地說：「主教，這個孩子是你的！」

希望能夠幫到你!

2009-11-30 18:30:19 補充：
Two days ago a man came to see doctor.He said he could see two of everything.When the doctor asked him to sit on the chair,he asked the doctor,'Which one?'

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# I am 18 now, dreaming for a beautiful girl. Then something mysterious happens. The girl I dreamt last night, named Helen or something, called me that she wants to meet me at the gate of the People's Garden at 8 o'clock sharp tommorrow. Terrific! My God, only12 hours for my preparation . The next day, I arrived at the spot 10 minutes earlier, but I find an ugly girl having been waiting there. Holding a piece of paper, she hands it to me. It says: according to the time on the Mars, you have been late one hour. You deserve my stand-in!"
# A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told
him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her
a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he
called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that
they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing
the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer,
he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

A:Is carrot really can improve the human's eyes?

B:Well,did you even see a rabbit wear glasses?

第二個

A.Have you give the fishes some fresh water?

B:No,they haven't drink the water that i gave them yesterday.

第三個

A:Are your mum just like many woman that lie for their age?

B:No.She first say she is as old as my dad,then lie about his age.

2009-11-25 21:51:20 補充：
第二個笑話係:No,they have not drink the water that i gave them yesterday.