幫我睇下d Grammar有沒錯

Amazing

2009-11-22 6:13 am

Good afternoon , teachers and fellow schoolmates . Today , I would like to share a film with you.

"Coraline" is directed by Henry Selick. It is an unusual film . Why is it unusual? When her family and her move into a new house , her neighbour gives her a doll . And the button-eyed doll has an uncanny resemblancee to her . The horrible things begin to happen . One night , she folows a mouse to the locked door which is in the drawing room. She finds her another parents behind the door . She like her another parents because they are nice and spend many times stay with her.But she don't know her "other parents " are devil . How can she escape ? Just watch the film!

After watching this film , I have many ideas in my mind.Nowadays teenager suppose their parents don't love them. To be frank, it is a silly thought.They didn't ever think of their parents . Parents work hard are to make better life for their students . Want to know how Coraline learn this logic ? Why don't you watch this film tonight?

更新1:

To moola_y : 我都覺得用past tense先right 但我地的miss叫我地用present tense

回答 (1)

[匿名]

2009-11-22 6:47 am

✔ 最佳答案

*The words in brackets are my changes.

Good afternoon,teachers and fellow schoolmates . Today , I would like to share a film with you.

"Coraline" is directed by Henry Selick. It is an unusual film . Why is it unusual? When her family and (she) (moved) into a new house , her neighbour (gave) her a doll . And the button-eyed doll (had) an uncanny resemblancee (on) her . The horrible things (began) to happen .One night , she (followed) a mouse to the locked door which (was) in the drawing room. She (found) her another parents (were) behind the door . She (liked) her another parents because they (were) nice and (spent) (much) times (on staying) with (them).(However,) she (didn't) know (that)her "(an)other parents" (were) (devils).(At last,)How (could) she escape?(Watch the film and find it out by yourself!)
After watching this film , I (am imspired by it).Nowadays,(many youngsters think that their parents don't care and love them at all.).To be frank, it is a (wrong thinking).Teenagers (never put themselves in the parent's shoes and think from parent's aspect).(Genitors) work (so) hard (in order) to make (life easier).(All they are doing is for their beloved children.)(Don't hesitate to watch this movie if you want to see how Caroline render for her parents).

*Although sometimes using present tense to express a story is acceptable,but I think past tense is more suitable in this case.=)

2009-11-25 17:22:51 補充：
It is done by myself ga :)

2009-11-26 22:38:08 補充：
yup...yup....
Actually using past tense is more suitable....
In cert. level,past tense is safer~:)

參考: , myself

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