改英作(GRAMMA)

I disagree with [on the idea that students] leaving [leave] school after Form 5 to get a job. According to the survey conducted by the Labor Department, there are 5 percent [of] people [who] are unemployed in Hong Kong. Involves 2.9 percent are between 15 to 19 years-old young. It can be showed that the young youngsters are more difficult to find a job. (difficult唔係咁用~係 it is difficult………)

First of all, many Form 5 students have never worked, so they have no any working experience. Also, they are [have] lower education [when] compare [compared] with others. If the employers employ them (諗諗點寫得簡單D吧), the employers need paying more attention and time to train them. Therefore, many companies are getting putting the Form 5 students to [into] the second choice. Facing to this enormous competition, it is difficult to find a good job for the Form 5 students.

Moreover, Form 5 students are very young (增加下D vocabs immature). Many jobs are not suitable for them. For example the jobs are being existed (如果真係唔識就唔好亂玩花神~being existed?~用having/containing) the high risks or doing physical work that are not suitable for young them as these jobs are very dangerous (死加字數?不是文法問題~但比文法問題更嚴重~像說我媽媽是女性~都說了high risk 還要dangerous???). Therefore, the choices of the jobs are limit [limited] for the Form 5 students.

Last but not least, many students are lack of techniques (techniques?係未想講skills?), hence they just find some jobs such [as] waiter or salesman. If the Form 5 students want to find the jobs [which] are more convenience [convenient] (方便工?講緊咩?唔明~腦海既idea~英文既usage往往比文法更重要), as well as getting high income. They need to learn more techniques (same) . These can bring a lot of [opportunities] of jobs for to them.

To sum up, the (唔好亂加the~你知道the的用法嗎) Form 5 students need to pursue further education. Don’t imagine finding a good job when you just are Form 5 standard. (如果冇果個字都可以表達到同一個意思~咁就算佢係好既vocab都係多餘)
而且呢到用 imagine就麻麻地適合…
仲有D野~都好難講~要教先得~有D係到冇打到explanation~
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2009-11-10 16:09:54 補充：
呢到顯示唔到我係 office word 到刪除左既字~~好似 involves 我係刪左
不過E到就睇唔到中間果一畫

i am not good at this, but interest in do this. maybe there are some people can provide better version


I disagree with leaving school after Form 5 to get a job. According to the survey conducted by the Labor Department, there are 5 percent people(which or being) are unemployment(?>adj>unemployed) in Hong Kong, involves(-ing) 2.9 percent (which)are between 15 to 19 years-old young(no need young?). It can be showed(?shown) that the young are more difficult to find a job(jobs).

First of all, many Form 5 students have never worked, so they have no any working experience. Also, they are(+in) lower education(+level) compared with others. If the(Xthe) employers employ(>hire) them, the employers need paying more attention(+s) and time to train them. Therefore, many companies are getting(consider) the Form 5 students to the second choice. Facing to this enormous competition, it is difficult to find a good job(+s) for the Form 5 students.

Moreover, Form 5 students are very young. Many jobs are not suitable for them. For example(,) the jobs are being existed the high risks or doing physical work (strange sentences>many jobs are very risky or physical)that are not suitable for young(youngsters or the young) as these jobs are very dangerous. Therefore, the choices of the jobs are limit(+ed) for the Form 5 students.

Last but not least(tell me what does it mean in chinese), many students are lack of techniques(lack techniques, common mistakes), hence they just find some jobs such(+as ) waiter or salesman. If the Form 5 students want to find the jobs (that/which)are more convenience(convenient), as well as getting high income. (,)They(they) need to learn more techniques. These can bring a lot of opportunity of jobs(job opportunities) for them.

To sum up, the Form 5 students need to pursue further(more) education. Don’t imagine finding a good job when you just are Form 5 standard(level).

2009-11-10 16:56:46 補充：
some words which display incorrectly are not influential to the major meaning

2009-11-10 16:58:05 補充：
Facing to this enormous competition(S),

2009-11-10 17:03:59 補充：
If the Form 5 students want to find the jobs (that/which)are more convenience(convenient),

convenient maybe wrongly used if you or me see/write too fast.
in the meaning , must be easy

answer should be
If the Form 5 students want to find the jobs (that/which)are (much )easier,